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Writing Samples
Band 5

Throughout the history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agree how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make a perfect society? How do people do to achieving an ideal society?

#history #people #dream #society #haven’t #element
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There is no denying the fact that a person wishes to live in an ideal
society
 in a reassuring and developed way.Since time immemorial, humans have been searching for stability in their
society
, but
on the other hand
,
this
 has not been achieved
due to
 their differences. When we talk about the perfect
society
, the idea comes to our mind that a
society
 is united in all aspects,
such
 as following orders,
in addition
 to avoiding problems. Here comes the question: how can we be an ideal
society
? we will analyze the issue from several sides.
Firstly
, the social side. A person wishes to administrate greater positions and
covets
Correct subject-verb agreement
covet
show examples
 more things than others, albeit
this
 is harmful to
society
 in terms of bias and unfairness among all individuals.
Secondly
, from the psychological aspect, some people want all their needs to be met, but
this
 is a deficiency for others, and
thus
 there
isno
Correct your spelling
is no
 equality among all members of
society
. Well in
this
 paragraph we will discuss the solutions for both sides.There are some matters that must be done to create a loving and ideal
society
.In the first problem that we mentioned previously about the social aspect of people, I propose a solution, which is the availability of jobs for everyone and complete satisfaction with themselves, as we can see, unemployment is the main cause of the physical and intellectual destruction of
society
.
In addition
 to
psychological
Correct article usage
the psychological
show examples
 aspect, when there is an annual fee for work, all their needs will be met. ‏In conclusion,there are many solutions to have an ideal
society
, but I have highlighted only the big problems and the solutions to them.
Submitted by Ethar Ali  on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt, including the most important element of a perfect society and the steps to achieve it.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs that follow a logical structure. Include an introduction and a conclusion to provide a complete response.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more effectively and accurately.
grammatical range
Improve grammatical accuracy by using correct sentence structures and avoiding errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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