In many schools, sports lessons are part of the timetable, because it is important for both boys and girls to participate in sports. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Physical
activities
are very useful for
students
so,many educational institutions provide physical
activities
in classes. I strongly with
this
topic and will provide many examples of it. First of all, in the modern world,
although
many
children
are spending time on academic studies,they still play video games.
This
is harmful to their health.
For instance
, the survey concluded that 80 per cent of
children
who are not involved in
sports
activities
face health
such
as eye
short
Correct word choice
overweight
show examples
and gaining weight
due to
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
being no physical movement.
Therefore
, I think that schools should be teaching
students
about exercise.
Secondly
,
sports
games don't only help people in physical health ,but
sports
can help them in team reading,team spirit and self-confidence that help them grow up.
For example
,
children
can learn how to help each other and how to understand each other when they are playing
sports
.
Besides
,
this
would make to encourage the winner even if you are on the losing side.Researchers said that 95 percent of
students
who play
sports
will be easygoing people and they are successful in their lives.
Thus
,I think that
sports
lessons can develop
children
to the sociable that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
many schools must have lessons in
sports
games. In Conclusion, I fully agree that
sports
lessons are to be part of the school timetable which helps in learning many positives of life, team spirit and build self-confidence for the
students
. So, schools and the government must support education about physical
activities
like
sports
teams because
sports
teams can help
children
live in the community.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear progression of ideas. However, try to ensure that your introduction includes a thesis statement and your conclusion provides a summary of your main points.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments. Consider providing more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your points.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical health and fitness
  • Life skills
  • Teamwork
  • Cooperation
  • Academic studies
  • Interest
  • Ability
  • Resources
  • Stress
  • Competition
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!