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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram explains the migration of people from Iran, Indonesia, and Russia to a metropolitan city between 2000 and 2025.

The diagram explains the migration of people from Iran, Indonesia, and Russia to a metropolitan city between 2000 and 2025.
#migration #people #iran #indonesia #russia #city
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The lines graph provides the data of amount
people
Use synonyms
 moving from rural to urban
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 (
Urbanization
Use synonyms
)
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three
differences
Replace the word
different
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
Iran
Use synonyms
, Indonesia, and
Use synonyms
Rusia
Correct your spelling
Russia
show examples
 between 2000 and 2025. Based on
this
Linking Words
 data,
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
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 who conducted
urbanization
Use synonyms
 always
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 every single year.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
Indonesia
Add a comma
Indonesia,
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during
Change preposition
from
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 2020 until 2025 the forecast acknowledges there is no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
increasing
urbanization
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the graph of
urbanization
Use synonyms
 always increases
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Iran
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Rusia
Correct your spelling
Russia
show examples
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
 differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
total
Change the article
a total
the total
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 who moving for
urbanization
Use synonyms
.
Start
Wrong verb form
Starting
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on
Change preposition
in
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 2000 approximately 15
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
moving
Wrong verb form
moved
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for
Change preposition
to
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 urban
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and predicted ranging 85
million
Use synonyms
 will be moving to metropolitan
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct your spelling
Russia
show examples
Rusia
Use synonyms
.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 with
Rusia
Use synonyms
urbanization
Use synonyms
 data, 9
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Iran
Use synonyms
 already moving to urban
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000 and
forecasting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
95
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 will be conducting
urbanization
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2025. Based on
this
Linking Words
 line chart,
urbanization
Use synonyms
 will
be happened
Change to the active voice
happen
happened
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three
differences
Replace the word
different
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 every single year until 2025 and
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Iran
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Rusia
Correct your spelling
Russia
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urbanization
Use synonyms
 always
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 until 2025.
Submitted by waauliya011 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, area, urbanization, iran, rusia, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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