IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world today. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is replacing fossil fuels. Is this a positive or negative developmen?

#fuels #source #energy #world #countries #alternative #sources #developmen
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These days,
people
Use synonyms
 think that we must find reusable
energy
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 for preventing a diversity of pollution and for human health. I believe that we should use alternative sources of
energy
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instead
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 of fossil
fuels
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. I will present my views on
this
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 subject and conclude.
To begin
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 with, a lot of experts argue that we have to look for and use reusable
energy
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 down the road because fossil
fuels
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 will ruin the
overall
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 environment like air and water quality and trigger deforestation in many places by constructing nature to get a number of fossil
fuels
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.
For example
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, There were designated areas to protect the biggest nature, especially in North America,
however
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,
people
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 who wanted to get petroleum in the places established several factories to dig the ground for petroleum.
As a result
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, the natural regions were developed and destroyed enormously, and most of the natives lost their habitats.
Additionally
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, we can not deny that fossil
fuels
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 create plenty of harmful chemical substances unstoppably. Those substances will wipe out the Earth’s circulated system and humans suffer from unpredictable climate changes like a scorching summer.
For instance
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, the number of
people
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 by severe climate change has been rising consistently, even amount of died elderly
people
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due to
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this
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 climate change doubled
this
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 year in Korea.
Consequently
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, utilizing alternative sources of
energy
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 is an inevitable factor for human In conclusion, I think that we have to struggle to make the right decision like using natural sources and
energy
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 and replacing most of the
energy
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 from fossil
fuels
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 to reusable
energy
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by daye9114 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of using alternative sources of energy.
coherence cohesion
Continue to develop and support your main points with logical reasoning and examples. Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more advanced and varied words and phrases to enhance the quality of your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Use a variety of sentence structures and ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct.
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