IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Topic: Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#topic #millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
It is controversial that
money
 should be used on improving citizens’
s
Change preposition
apply
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lives rather than on exploring
space
.
This
 writer agrees with
this
 statement as it helps nations to enhance living
standards
 and encourage society to develop their economies. An aspect
needs
Correct pronoun usage
that needs
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 to be considered is that investing
money
 to improve living
standards
 on Earth helps nations develop. As citizens have better living conditions, their work performances may improve and the efficiency will increase.
This
 might encourage trading between countries and
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 revenues.
Moreover
, better living
standards
means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
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 that amount of population is high, which may attract potential entrepreneurs to come and work.
However
, spending
money
 on
space
 research is supported by many individuals since they believe that Earth’s pollution worsens every year and finding another planet for settling down is essential. Even though
this
 point has its own views, governments have been trying to call their citizens to join their hands to protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
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. At the same time, many policies have been established to decrease the effects of pollution.
Hence
, investing
money
to
Change preposition
in
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 those subjects will protect our planet and have less risk than spending on
space
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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.
Furthermore
, it is critical to realize that communities are authorities’
s
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apply
show examples
priority to worry
rather
Change preposition
about rather
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 than exploring
space
. A nation is based on its citizens and using
money
 to take care
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 people is preferable and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 governments become stronger.
In addition
, countries with good living conditions always attract foreigners and visitors to arrive and settle down.
Therefore
,
money
 should be used to improve living
standards
instead
 of on
space
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
. Authorities should come up with logical strategies to use
money
 effectively to develop countries and help people to have better lives.
Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on

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task response
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the given task. You express your agreement with the statement that money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. However, be cautious not to present your opinion as a fact.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good use of logical structure. Your ideas flow logically, and you have effectively supported your main points with relevant arguments. However, you could improve the coherence and cohesion by using more transitional phrases and linking words.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is adequate. You have used a range of vocabulary appropriately to convey your ideas. To further enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is satisfactory. You have demonstrated a good control of grammar and used a variety of sentence structures. However, watch out for minor errors in subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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