Advertising has become part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#part #everyone’s #life #people #impact #lives

There is no doubt that these days we are living in a consumer culture. Advertising is a key part of modern business. Some

people

argue that advertisement has benefits for

people

's lives. In

this

essay, I will discuss

this

argument and provide my point of view. ‏In terms of advantages, advertising is a form of modern art. It is undeniable that many

people

enjoy adverts.

That is

because advertising informs us about the choices we have.

Moreover

, companies

such

as Amazon need to tell customers about their new products in order to increase their sales .

Furthermore

, advertising is a creative industry that employs many

people

. So without advertising, there would be higher unemployment.

In addition

people

always want to know the latest trends.

However

, without ads, we would have limited choices . ‏

On the other hand

, advertisements could have

also

drawbacks.

First,

advertising manipulates

people

by persuading them that buying a product will make them happier.

Secondly

, advertising companies use glamorous or successful individuals in their adverts , and they usually aim their marketing at

children

Besides

children

are easily influenced by advertisements like fast food commercials that are displayed on television.

Therefore

children

put pressure on parents to buy them things.

Additionally

, some

commercials

Change the noun form

commercial

show examples

products exhibit a risk to health. ‏

To sum up

, advertising has become an integral part of

people

's lives. But I do believe that the advertisement has the negatives outweigh the positives.

Therefore

, the commercials aimed at

children

should be controlled or even banned.

Similarly

, the government must ensure that steps are taken to prevent

this

phenomenon in future.

Submitted by du.sg16 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

Introduce paragraphs clearly to improve logical flow.

task achievement

Ensure that both sides of the argument are evenly discussed.

task achievement

Include more varied examples to support the claims.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

The main points about advertising's positive and negative impacts are well addressed.

task achievement

Strong vocabulary usage enhances clarity.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Advertising has become part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Given high unemployment rate, it is recommended that the government only provide primary education and no secondary education. What do you think?

More and more people are shifting to a plant-based diet. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

some people say that it is better to promote healthy lifestyles than spend so much money to treat obese people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways tohelp them. Do you agree or disagree?