In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
People
’s livespan
have been increasing with recent developments. Correct your spelling
lifespan
While
some of
Change preposition
apply
people
think that increased aging proportion in society is problematic for governments
, others believe that it has benefits from society
perspective. I think it is certain that there Change noun form
society's
is
no Change the verb form
are
any
benefits when Correct quantifier usage
apply
countries
have more elderly people
and it has lots of negative outcomes to
the Change preposition
for
governments
in health and economy
topics.
Older Replace the word
economic
people
have weak immun
systems, so they are getting sick more than younger generations during the years. Correct your spelling
immune
This
put
Wrong verb form
puts
strain
Correct article usage
a strain
into
the health systems because finding free places in the hospitals getting harder. Because of that, Change preposition
on
governments
spend more money to open new hospitals. Furthermore
, when hospitals become a
crowded places, Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
the needs
needs
for doctors Correct subject-verb agreement
need
also
increasing
and working hours for them is rising too which Wrong verb form
increases
resulted
in Wrong verb form
results
more
higher payments. All of Change the word
apply
these spendings
leads to shift investments from Fix the agreement mistake
this spending
another important areas
Replace the adjective
another important area
other important areas
such
as education and military
to Correct article usage
the military
health
system which Add an article
the health
effect
the Verb problem
affects
governments
’ plans for build
Wrong verb form
building
strong
country.
Add an article
a strong
On the other hand
, people
start to lose their cognitive and physical conditions when getting older which is
crucial abilities for joining workforces. So, they can not Correct subject-verb agreement
are
attent
Correct your spelling
attend
to
jobs that have Change preposition
apply
produce
vital outcomes Wrong verb form
produced
to
Change preposition
for
country’s
economy Correct article usage
the country’s
such
as software, robotics, and biotechnology. Because of that countries
have to collect people
from all around the world who works
in these fields to improve their wealth but Change the verb form
work
this
needs well-structured
campaign Correct article usage
a well-structured
for
attract young brains to the country. So, Change preposition
to
this
is all government’s
work to do which opens another spending category.
In conclusion, having more elderly Correct article usage
the government’s
people
in countries
increases government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
spendings
and Fix the agreement mistake
spending
disrupt
their long-term strategy for holding Correct subject-verb agreement
disrupts
strong
position in the world Add an article
a strong
and
history contains lots of Correct word choice
apply
countries
that not
present anymore because of their weakness so older generations don’t have any benefits to the Add a missing verb
are not
governments
.Submitted by airbender on
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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