The efficient functioning of society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Rules and laws are basic contributors to maintaining a society's order and efficiency, so some people argue that individual behaviours should be restricted under their frame.
Otherwise
, the society would face the risk of chaos and disorder. From my perspective, I am in favour of the opinion, believing that we should follow social norms and legal restrictions to keep our community up and running in a proper manner.
On the one hand, freedom
is the birthright for everyone, which entitles us to do anything we are willing to. For example
, every citizen has the right to choose where they want to settle down in the country, without limitations and discrimination. Also
, we should be able to be free to vote for any candidate favoured by us in the election campaign. In this
way can we enjoy equality and democracy brought by freedom
. By contrast
, it may become chaotic and unstable if the government infringes on personal freedoms.
On the other hand
, the unlimited rights of individuals will pose a threat to the stability and safety of our neighbourhoods. Rules and laws in the nation are well-accepted by most citizens, which function as a powerful tool protecting our rights and freedom
from being violated. For one thing, regulations and decrees in the country are able to make innocent people immune to crimes and violence, which is the cornerstone of social stabilization. For another, unrestrained personal behaviours will result in dangers and chaotic lives in the community. For example
, overspeed driving is a major contributor to car accidents blamed for many casualties every year, the government has to set regulations for driving.
In conclusion, individual freedom
is by no means of empowering us to do everything at will, which must follow the social and legal order as a premise of bringing our freedoms into full play.Submitted by 76805977 on
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task response
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and presents a balanced view on the topic. However, to improve the task response score, provide a stronger thesis statement and analysis of the extent to which the individual freedom should be restricted.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to improve the coherence and cohesion score, ensure a smooth transition between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to create coherence.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary and uses appropriate words and phrases to convey the ideas. However, to improve the lexical resource score, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance the quality of writing.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of grammatical structures and uses a variety of sentence structures. However, to improve the grammatical range score, pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence formation. Additionally, try to use complex and compound sentences to showcase a wider range of grammatical structures.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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