The efficient functioning of society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#society #rules #laws #function #individuals

Rules and laws are basic contributors to maintaining a society's order and efficiency, so some people argue that individual behaviours should be restricted under their frame.

Otherwise

, the society would face the risk of chaos and disorder. From my perspective, I am in favour of the opinion, believing that we should follow social norms and legal restrictions to keep our community up and running in a proper manner. On the one hand,

freedom

is the birthright for everyone, which entitles us to do anything we are willing to.

For example

, every citizen has the right to choose where they want to settle down in the country, without limitations and discrimination.

Also

, we should be able to be free to vote for any candidate favoured by us in the election campaign. In

this

way can we enjoy equality and democracy brought by

freedom

By contrast

, it may become chaotic and unstable if the government infringes on personal freedoms.

On the other hand

, the unlimited rights of individuals will pose a threat to the stability and safety of our neighbourhoods. Rules and laws in the nation are well-accepted by most citizens, which function as a powerful tool protecting our rights and

freedom

from being violated. For one thing, regulations and decrees in the country are able to make innocent people immune to crimes and violence, which is the cornerstone of social stabilization. For another, unrestrained personal behaviours will result in dangers and chaotic lives in the community.

For example

, overspeed driving is a major contributor to car accidents blamed for many casualties every year, the government has to set regulations for driving. In conclusion, individual

freedom

is by no means of empowering us to do everything at will, which must follow the social and legal order as a premise of bringing our freedoms into full play.

Submitted by 76805977 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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task response

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and presents a balanced view on the topic. However, to improve the task response score, provide a stronger thesis statement and analysis of the extent to which the individual freedom should be restricted.

coherence cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to improve the coherence and cohesion score, ensure a smooth transition between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to create coherence.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary and uses appropriate words and phrases to convey the ideas. However, to improve the lexical resource score, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance the quality of writing.

grammatical range

The essay shows a good command of grammatical structures and uses a variety of sentence structures. However, to improve the grammatical range score, pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence formation. Additionally, try to use complex and compound sentences to showcase a wider range of grammatical structures.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The efficient functioning of society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Employers should give their staff at least four-weeks’ holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think travelling abroad is a valuable experience for young people. Others think it wastes too much time and money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?