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Using computers for a long time may have a lot of negative effects on children so it should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#computers #time #effects #children
Nowadays, there is an increasing tendency among
children
 to work with
computers
. In today’s climate, the issue of
children
 working with
computers
 has become a controversial minefield. There is a widely held view that playing for a long time with an electronic gadget like
computers
 can have bad effects on
children
, a theory which I fully subscribe to. The main justification why not using
computers
 would be fruitful for
children
 is that they can find a chance to have mobility. There is no doubt that
children
 should play
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
 and do physical activities to release their energy. The more active the child would be, the healthier life he could lead.
Therefore
, parents need to encourage their kids to do sports,
instead
 of working with
computers
 constantly. Another explanation is that in case of not spending many hours on the computer,
children
 can go out and be in recreational activities like painting class.
As a result
 of
this
 fact, they can extend their circle of relationships and find new friends. It is believed that people have found their best friends in childhood. There are a few facts regarding the negative effects of using
computers
 continuously on
children
. First and foremost, it can have health hazards, some of which are impossible to recover. Sitting for a long time can lead to bad posture and backache. Not only can they be unbearable but
also
 they can make
children
 embarrassed.
Also
, gazing at a screen hurts the eyes, and
consequently
, it causes eyestrain.
Last
 but not least, spending time computer to play video games and surfing the Internet can result in depression and anxiety.
In other words
, it can restrict
children
’s social communication. What can be concluded from the discussion revolving around
computer’s
Change noun form
computer
show examples
 usage by
children
 is the fact that I find myself among people who believe that it can bring negative effects and should be monitored tightly by parents.
Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on

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coherence cohesion
To further enhance your essay, consider integrating more varied and complex sentence structures to showcase a wider range of grammatical proficiency. Additionally, integrating direct examples from real-life or hypothetical scenarios could strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable to the reader.
task achievement
Strive to incorporate a broader variety of vocabulary to avoid repetition and to more precisely express your ideas. Exploring synonyms and nuanced phrases related to the topic could enrich your essay and demonstrate a higher level of language mastery.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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