Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays,

this

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is an extreme issue put that some species all over the world at risk.

This

Linking Words

is a very contradictory statement, many

people

Use synonyms

are saying we should protect these

animals

Use synonyms

from danger by countries and individuals, but others do not agree with

this

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and say we should focus on human problems. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both views and explain them.

Firstly

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, they are discussing how to protect

animals

Use synonyms

and why it is so important. All

animals

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play a significant role in the stability of the environment, ecosystems, and our lives. The importance of

animals

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cannot be stressed enough; without them, our existence is not possible.

For example

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, as per a report by the Times of India, we lost more than thousands of species in the

last

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100 years

due to

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climate change, more pollution, and deforestation.

Hence

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, we are stopping the cutting of forests and taking extra care of species on the verge of extinction.

On the other hand

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, If you try to save any

animals

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then

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you spend a million dollars. If we used that money to solve the problems of

people

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then

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results would be different. A lot of

people

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would provide the study and food with that money.

For instance

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, as per a survey by BBC News, tens of millions of

people

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around the world are sleeping with an empty stomach.

Thus

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, if the money is spent on the needy to provide education and support in business,

then

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the future of the country is bright. In conclusion, we have discussed that both views and findings are equally important for

animals

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and solving human problems, but in my opinion, trying to save

animals

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is a top priority because if

animals

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are not left,

then

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our existence is in danger.

lavneet.kumar45Mon Oct 30 2023

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task response

Provide a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints. While you mentioned the importance of protecting animals, you could have also elaborated on the arguments of those who believe we should focus on human problems.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure throughout the essay. Some of the paragraphs could be better organized and transitions between ideas could be smoother.

lexical resource

Diversify your vocabulary and use more varied and precise words to express your ideas. This will make your essay more interesting and impressive.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. There are a few errors throughout the essay that could be corrected with careful proofreading.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

verge of extinction
endangered species
ecological importance
biodiversity
ethical duty
ecosystems
medical and scientific research
ecotourism
limited availability of resources
socioeconomic issues
sustainable development
conservation efforts
preserve biodiversity

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