Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There has been a constant debate on whether
crime
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prevention
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is the responsibility of the
government
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, or whether it is an individual's burden. In
this
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essay, I will elaborate on both views and give my personal opinion on
this
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matter. On the one hand, some people believe that the
prevention
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of criminals is the
government
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's responsibility. It is true that
governments
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have much more authority than normal citizens.
Governments
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hold the authority to create and enforce laws, regulate societal behaviour, and manage public resources, ensuring order and stability. They
also
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possess the power to levy taxes, provide public services, and represent the state in international relations.
Thus
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, it is obvious that
governments
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ought to be responsible for
crime
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prevention
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.
For example
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, the
government
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once used their power to implement curfews during the 2020 protests in several U.S. cities,
as a result
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, the number of reported looting cases dropped by over 60% in the days following its implementation in Los Angeles.
On the other hand
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, others hold the opinion that individuals should be in charge of
crime
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reduction. It has become a fact that
governments
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do not have the capability to always know information about
crime
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, especially in small towns. Since individuals are the ones who know their surroundings well, they should contribute to
crime
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prevention
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with their knowledge.
For instance
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, a report by the U.S. Department of Justice found that watch programs, programmes established by residents in a neighbourhood, can reduce
crime
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by up to 16%, particularly in areas with high rates of burglary.
This
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demonstrates the tangible impact that individuals, working together, can have in deterring criminal activities. In conclusion,
while
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both sides have valid reasons for their demonstration, I stand in between them. The
government
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has the authority needed to apply policies,
while
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the community has better knowledge about their neighbourhood. I believe that
crime
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prevention
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has long been a challenging task and requires the effort, teamwork and contribution of both the
government
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and the residents.
Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on

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coherence cohesion
In general, avoid using repetitive phrases such as 'governments have much more authority than normal citizens.' Try to use richer vocabulary to convey your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that each idea flows logically to the next. This will make your writing more cohesive and easier to follow.
task achievement
While your essay adequately covers both viewpoints, spend more time expanding on examples to make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas will always strengthen your argument, but be cautious about small grammatical inconsistencies.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-written, providing a clear start and end to your essay.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured and each viewpoint is appropriately supported. The transitions between paragraphs are smooth, making it easy to follow your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • legislation
  • law enforcement
  • social programs
  • comprehensive strategies
  • personal responsibility
  • proactive measures
  • security systems
  • community-based initiatives
  • neighborhood watch
  • workshops
  • socioeconomic factors
  • crime rates
  • underlying issues
  • poverty
  • education
  • unemployment
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