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Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do ou agree or disagree with this statement

#education #component #school #program #ou
In
this
 contemporary era, schools should supply
students
 with adequate knowledge regarding the fiscal side of matters. I mostly disagree because
learners
 should have the right to choose their own special
interest
 area to
study
. To embark on, obliging
students
 to participate in classes they do not possess an
interest
to learn
Change preposition
in learning
show examples
 might put them under
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
consistent pressure.
In other words
,
enforcing
Verb problem
forcing
show examples
 young
learners
 to enroll in a certain program could
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 a toxic studying environment which, in turn, will radiate a sense of restriction among
students
.
Accordingly
, when pupils
impose
Verb problem
are forced
show examples
 to engage in some classes they are not willing to learn, certain psychological illnesses will emerge
as a consequence
 of studying in uncomfortable environments.
This
 can be exemplified by a survey conducted by a group of Iraqi psychotherapists which revealed approximately two-thirds of individuals during their
study
 periods have manifested signs and symptoms of anxiety and depression
due to
 their
study
 obligations. What can be said here is that educational institutions should be aware of the dire consequences the compulsory education system has on
students
.
Furthermore
, allowing pupils to learn more about their special
interest
 areas will significantly improve their skills and
this
 will reap benefits in terms of
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 skilled
learners
 and future labourers. To illustrate, educational institutions should have the flexibility that allows pupils to gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge in the areas they require to improve and enhance their skills.
As a result
, a wide variety of young
students
 will be accurately prepared to engage in the labour market earlier, because they possess a sufficient level of understanding and competence.
For instance
, when several private schools
im
Correct your spelling
in
 Iraq
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
initiated the enactment of the law
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving the
students
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relative liberty to participate in classrooms of their own preferences, numerous
learners
engage
Wrong verb form
engaged
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in their special
interest
 areas.
This
 example shows that schools should enable schoolchildren to choose and participate in programs they are willing to learn to boost their learning skills and increase the opportunity to find a job. In conclusion,
after
this
 essay has reiterated the above-mentioned points, it can still be claimed that
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial subjects as a mandatory requirement might have a negative effect on the learning process,
as well as
, the psychological health of schoolchildren.
Submitted by Drfatima.Abdullah on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides a preview of the main points to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Better organization of ideas and supporting evidence is needed to improve the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more convincing.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the clarity and precision of your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the overall fluency and accuracy of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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