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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is said that the amount of violence on TV programmes has negative effects on our social development and therefore should be reduced.

#amount #violence #tv #programmes #effects #development
The impact of
violence
 depicted in
television
 programmes on social
development
 is a subject of ongoing concern. I firmly concur with the viewpoint that the prevalence of
violence
 on TV has adverse effects and warrants a reduction.
This
 essay will expound on the reasons supporting
this
 stance. First and foremost, exposure to high levels of
violence
 on
television
 can desensitise individuals, particularly the younger demographic, to aggressive behaviour and its consequences. Numerous studies have indicated a correlation between prolonged exposure to violent content and an increase in aggressive tendencies among viewers.
For instance
, a study conducted by the American Psychological Association found a clear link between violent media consumption and aggressive behaviour, especially in children and adolescents.
This
 desensitisation to
violence
 can hinder the
development
 of empathy, conflict resolution skills, and a sense of social responsibility, all of which are crucial for healthy social
development
.
Furthermore
, the proliferation of violent content on
television
 can exacerbate societal issues related to crime and aggression. It can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and normalise violent behaviour as an acceptable means of conflict resolution.
This
 can have a ripple effect on communities, potentially leading to an increase in real-world
violence
 and crime rates. By reducing the portrayal of
violence
 in TV programmes, society can mitigate these negative social repercussions and work towards a more harmonious and empathetic environment. In conclusion, the reduction of
violence
 in
television
 programmes is essential for fostering healthy social
development
. By minimising exposure to graphic content, particularly among impressionable audiences, we can contribute to a more compassionate and responsible society.
This
 approach aligns with the broader goal of creating an environment conducive to positive social growth and
overall
 well-being.
Submitted by hburakdisli on

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Task Response
The essay effectively addresses the task prompt by clearly expressing agreement with the viewpoint that violence on TV should be reduced.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate and varied word choices.
Grammatical Range
The grammatical range of the essay is generally strong, with few errors that do not hinder overall understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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