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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is said that the amount of violence on TV programmes has negative effects on our social development and therefore should be reduced.

#amount #violence #tv #programmes #effects #development
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The impact of
violence
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 depicted in
television
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 programmes on social
development
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 is a subject of ongoing concern. I firmly concur with the viewpoint that the prevalence of
violence
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 on TV has adverse effects and warrants a reduction.
This
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 essay will expound on the reasons supporting
this
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 stance. First and foremost, exposure to high levels of
violence
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 on
television
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 can desensitise individuals, particularly the younger demographic, to aggressive behaviour and its consequences. Numerous studies have indicated a correlation between prolonged exposure to violent content and an increase in aggressive tendencies among viewers.
For instance
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, a study conducted by the American Psychological Association found a clear link between violent media consumption and aggressive behaviour, especially in children and adolescents.
This
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 desensitisation to
violence
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 can hinder the
development
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 of empathy, conflict resolution skills, and a sense of social responsibility, all of which are crucial for healthy social
development
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.
Furthermore
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, the proliferation of violent content on
television
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 can exacerbate societal issues related to crime and aggression. It can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and normalise violent behaviour as an acceptable means of conflict resolution.
This
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 can have a ripple effect on communities, potentially leading to an increase in real-world
violence
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 and crime rates. By reducing the portrayal of
violence
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 in TV programmes, society can mitigate these negative social repercussions and work towards a more harmonious and empathetic environment. In conclusion, the reduction of
violence
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 in
television
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 programmes is essential for fostering healthy social
development
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. By minimising exposure to graphic content, particularly among impressionable audiences, we can contribute to a more compassionate and responsible society.
This
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 approach aligns with the broader goal of creating an environment conducive to positive social growth and
overall
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 well-being.
Submitted by hburakdisli on

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Task Response
The essay effectively addresses the task prompt by clearly expressing agreement with the viewpoint that violence on TV should be reduced.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate and varied word choices.
Grammatical Range
The grammatical range of the essay is generally strong, with few errors that do not hinder overall understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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