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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that it is cruel to test drugs and other new products on animals. Others believe that this sort of testing is important and necessary for improving and even saving people’s lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #test #drugs #products #animals #sort #people’s #lives
Some individuals are of the opinion that it would be an act of wickedness to determine the effects of medicines and newly manufactured materials on
animals
 because it's a form of abuse and could lead to
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of
animals
.
However
,some people disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 fact and believe that it would help save people and improve health. In my own view,I am of the opinion that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 testing
drugs
 on
animals
 is very essential as it would prevent
outbreak
Fix the agreement mistake
outbreaks
show examples
 of diseases and loss of lives.
To begin
 with, As
animals
 are
also
 a form of living things,it would be cruel to use them as a tool for research making them vulnerable to different adverse effects caused by
products
 or
drugs
 used on them and can
also
 lead to
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of some species because they are used for specimens.
For example
,A research finding showed that a particular breed of dogs
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 no longer in existence because they were used for research purposes.
Also
,Testing newly produced
products
 and medicines on
animals
 would help to prevent
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in the fatality rate of humans and adverse effects produced by the
drugs
.
For example
,An anti-cancer drug was tested on a dog and it helped to detect an
over dose
Correct your spelling
overdose
show examples
 in one of the ingredients used in its production and it could have resulted
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 lots of casualties
such
 as sudden death in human beings.
Furthermore
,I am of the opinion that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not a bad idea to try
products
 out on
animals
 as they are mainly for food production,so it wouldn't be very detrimental if some
animals
 die during the process. In Conclusion,Using new
drugs
 or
products
 on
animals
 could help prevent loss of lives.
On the other hand
,it could lead to extinction of some species.
Submitted by bumzyakins on

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Task Response
Ensure that the arguments presented are balanced and provide a fair evaluation of both views.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clearer logical structure by organizing ideas into clearly defined paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using more varied and precise words and phrases.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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