IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is cruel to test drugs and other new products on animals. Others believe that this sort of testing is important and necessary for improving and even saving people’s lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #test #drugs #products #animals #sort #people’s #lives
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Some individuals are of the opinion that it would be an act of wickedness to determine the effects of medicines and newly manufactured materials on
animals
Use synonyms
 because it's a form of abuse and could lead to
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of
animals
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.
However
Linking Words
,some people disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 fact and believe that it would help save people and improve health. In my own view,I am of the opinion that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 testing
drugs
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 on
animals
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 is very essential as it would prevent
outbreak
Fix the agreement mistake
outbreaks
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 of diseases and loss of lives.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, As
animals
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 are
also
Linking Words
 a form of living things,it would be cruel to use them as a tool for research making them vulnerable to different adverse effects caused by
products
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 or
drugs
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 used on them and can
also
Linking Words
 lead to
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of some species because they are used for specimens.
For example
Linking Words
,A research finding showed that a particular breed of dogs
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 no longer in existence because they were used for research purposes.
Also
Linking Words
,Testing newly produced
products
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 and medicines on
animals
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 would help to prevent
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
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 in the fatality rate of humans and adverse effects produced by the
drugs
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.
For example
Linking Words
,An anti-cancer drug was tested on a dog and it helped to detect an
over dose
Correct your spelling
overdose
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 in one of the ingredients used in its production and it could have resulted
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 lots of casualties
such
Linking Words
 as sudden death in human beings.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,I am of the opinion that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not a bad idea to try
products
Use synonyms
 out on
animals
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 as they are mainly for food production,so it wouldn't be very detrimental if some
animals
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 die during the process. In Conclusion,Using new
drugs
Use synonyms
 or
products
Use synonyms
 on
animals
Use synonyms
 could help prevent loss of lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,it could lead to extinction of some species.
Submitted by bumzyakins on

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Task Response
Ensure that the arguments presented are balanced and provide a fair evaluation of both views.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clearer logical structure by organizing ideas into clearly defined paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using more varied and precise words and phrases.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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