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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish impoerted to the US between 1988 annd 2000.

The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish impoerted to the US between 1988 annd 2000.
#information #value #sources #fish #annd
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The table and pie charts display the value and country
origin
Change preposition
of origin
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 of imported
fish
 in the US. Generally, the amount of imported
fish
 in
billion
 dollars had gradually
rose
Wrong verb form
risen
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 between 1988 and 2000, with Canada as the majority contributor of those in 1988, replaced by other countries twelve years later. In the late 1980s, the imported
fish
was values
Change the verb form
was valued
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$
Change preposition
at $
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6.57
billion
, followed by
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
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 increment to $8.52
billion
 in the early 1990s.
Further
 increase happened in 2000 with
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
 of $10.72
billion
. In terms of which country exporting
fish
 to the US, Canada was the major contributor to the
fish
 stock by 60%,
while
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of
countries
Correct article usage
the countries
show examples
 and
China
 served at 27% and 13% respectively in 1988. In 1992, the number of imported
fish
 from
China
 dramatically declined to 34%,
whereas
China
's contribution slowly up to two out of five and the dramatic incline of the import was seen from the rest of the country to just under a half. By the early 2000s, the contribution of Canada's exported
fish
 to the US continued declining to 28%, falling behind
further
Correct article usage
a further
show examples
 increase from
China
 to 30%. The remaining countries,
in addition
, showed
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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imported
fish
 by 4%.
Submitted by raviandrakanty on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, billion, china with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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