IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. ‎Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?‎

#countries #food #‎do #outweigh
In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
 era, fast
food
 is becoming more and more popular,
besides
, it is becoming less expensive than in the past. that's why more
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 prefer to buy
this
 type of available
food
instead
 of preparing meals which may demand a lot
off
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 effort and
time
. I think that the drawbacks of the former type of
food
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 much less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the advantages and one should not abuse it. Recently, many of us
work
Wrong verb form
have worked
show examples
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 hard and for a long
time
 during the day so that we don't even have
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time
 to think about our meals, and when we are starving
hungry
Correct word choice
and hungry
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the middle of the day, the
most easy
Change the adjective
easiest
show examples
 thing to do is to order a
take away
Join the words
takeaway
show examples
 meal.
That
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
realy
Correct your spelling
really
dosen't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
show examples
 cost a lot of money and is not
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
. But we should always remember that it is much less healthy than
food
 that we invest in and cook by
ouselves
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 and to be honest, it
is
Change the verb form
also costs
show examples
also
 costs less than the one that we buy.
For example
, if you decide to cook by yourself, you will pay attention to the
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
show examples
 that your meal includes, to the way you prepare it and sometimes to how it looks, and try to
emphesaise
Correct your spelling
emphasise
emphasize
 that it
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be totally nutritional balanced.
On the other hand
, one may abuse fast
food
 because you can get it really rapidly and you can choose between the different
availabe
Correct your spelling
available
 cuisines, and it is
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 delicious. So why not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do that?
Besides
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the health issue, I think that preparing meals is very important socially.
For instance
, when the
mothers
Fix the agreement mistake
mother
show examples
 returns from work, it would be enjoyable to make
food
 with her children,
at
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 the end, all family members
set
Correct your spelling
sit
show examples
 in the dining room and eat together thing
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 would make them feel much
more close
Correct word choice
closer
show examples
 and beloved.
To conclude
,
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of the fact that dining with
fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
food
 may be the
eassy
Correct your spelling
easy
 way to
do
Correct pronoun usage
do it
show examples
, I think
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
it has a lot of disadvantages that may
inluence
Verb problem
apply
show examples
negatively our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by leenaasalee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide a clear opinion in response to the prompt. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa?
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay by using cohesive devices to connect ideas and create a logical progression of arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure grammatical accuracy throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: