IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. ‎Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?‎

#countries #food #‎do #outweigh
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In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
 era, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is becoming more and more popular,
besides
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, it is becoming less expensive than in the past. that's why more
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 prefer to buy
this
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 type of available
food
Use synonyms
instead
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 of preparing meals which may demand a lot
off
Correct your spelling
of
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 effort and
time
Use synonyms
. I think that the drawbacks of the former type of
food
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 much less
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then
Replace the word
than
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 the advantages and one should not abuse it. Recently, many of us
work
Wrong verb form
have worked
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realy
Correct your spelling
really
 hard and for a long
time
Use synonyms
 during the day so that we don't even have
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to think about our meals, and when we are starving
hungry
Correct word choice
and hungry
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at
Change preposition
in
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 the middle of the day, the
most easy
Change the adjective
easiest
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 thing to do is to order a
take away
Join the words
takeaway
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 meal.
That
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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realy
Correct your spelling
really
dosen't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
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 cost a lot of money and is not
Use synonyms
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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. But we should always remember that it is much less healthy than
food
Use synonyms
 that we invest in and cook by
ouselves
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 and to be honest, it
is
Change the verb form
also costs
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also
Linking Words
 costs less than the one that we buy.
For example
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, if you decide to cook by yourself, you will pay attention to the
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
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 that your meal includes, to the way you prepare it and sometimes to how it looks, and try to
emphesaise
Correct your spelling
emphasise
emphasize
 that it
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be totally nutritional balanced.
On the other hand
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, one may abuse fast
food
Use synonyms
 because you can get it really rapidly and you can choose between the different
availabe
Correct your spelling
available
 cuisines, and it is
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 delicious. So why not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do that?
Besides
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the health issue, I think that preparing meals is very important socially.
For instance
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, when the
mothers
Fix the agreement mistake
mother
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 returns from work, it would be enjoyable to make
food
Use synonyms
 with her children,
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at
Change the preposition
in
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 the end, all family members
set
Correct your spelling
sit
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 in the dining room and eat together thing
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 would make them feel much
more close
Correct word choice
closer
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 and beloved.
To conclude
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,
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of the fact that dining with
fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 may be the
eassy
Correct your spelling
easy
 way to
do
Correct pronoun usage
do it
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, I think
the
Remove the article
apply
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it has a lot of disadvantages that may
inluence
Verb problem
apply
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negatively our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by leenaasalee on

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task response
Provide a clear opinion in response to the prompt. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa?
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay by using cohesive devices to connect ideas and create a logical progression of arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure grammatical accuracy throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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