IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education
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Taking
people
Use synonyms
 into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail is a basic punishment when
people
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 break laws or
cause
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 some problems for society or individuals.
However
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, some
people
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 think that governments should implicate other methods to make
people
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relize
Correct your spelling
realize
realise
 their
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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.
Although
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 I agree with the softer condemnation for petty
crime
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, I disagree with
ebolish
Correct your spelling
abolish
prision
Correct your spelling
prison
 completely in
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
 systems of countries. On the one hand, criminals deserve to receive
a
Remove the article
apply
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mercy or sympathy from communities when they
inadverdly
Correct your spelling
inadvisedly
cause
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crime
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. In fact, some
people
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 especially in poor regions
who
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apply
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lack
of
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apply
show examples
education from families or their parents and they behave following their
instinct
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instincts
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instead
Linking Words
 of education.
Therefore
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, they need to be trained and give them another chance to become law-abiding
citizens
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.
For example
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, in Singapore governors usually force their
citizens
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 to do some
pubilic
Correct your spelling
public
 labour activities when some
people
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 do not obey policies. At the same time, authorities should allocate
national
Correct article usage
a national
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 budget to enhance living standards for dwellers. By doing
this
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, society may reduce the risks of high
crime
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 rates and
people
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 no longer think about positive features that can
cause
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 their wrong
thinkings
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thinking
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, governments should still keep an arrest punishment to warn other
citizens
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avoiding
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to avoid
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 crimes. To be more specific, there are serious crimes that
cause
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 numerous bad consequences to social safety
such
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 as murder, rape or sexual
abusing
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abuse
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. These kinds of crimes
affects
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affect
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physical
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the physical
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 or mental
healths
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health
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 of victims significantly.
Therefore
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, culprits must be taken
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail in order to indicate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
justice respect and
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
other
citizens
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assured
Verb problem
apply
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. In some
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
, even death penalties should be applied depending on the
serious
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seriousness
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 level of each
crime
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. In conclusion, prison is a vital punishment in
law
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the law
show examples
 systems of a whole nation. Depending on each situation or origin of
crime
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,
govenrments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 should give proper condemnations.
Submitted by leanhduc24121987 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the main points are clearly supported with relevant examples throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide a more detailed analysis and discussion of the topic, considering counterarguments and presenting a well-rounded viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing the ideas more coherently, with clear topic sentences and well-developed paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively introduce and summarize the main points of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Improve sentence structure by using a wider range of sentence types, including complex and compound sentences.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
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