Many high school students take part time jobs. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#school #students #part #time #jobs

this

economically advanced and competitive era, high

school

students

are engaging in

part-timetime

Correct your spelling

part-time

Jobs

frequently.

Hence

, the

part-timetime

Correct your spelling

part-time

jobs

market

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

created and

seeing

Wrong verb form

saw

show examples

a huge surge. It is a great opportunity for the

students

to step into the real-world work scenario and have experience of the same which will greatly benefit them towards their learning procedure.

However

, there are some negative aspects associated with it.

To begin

with, working

Correct your spelling

part-time

part-timetime

jobs

will add some positive advantages to

students

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Firstly

, they work as an individual and gain different perspectives on how to deal with certain situations. The high

school

students

learn about

monetary

Correct article usage

the monetary

show examples

aspect as well. Life-long lessons like communications, customer value, management skills etc. will bring the best version out of them.

Hence

this

movement will affect the country's economic affairs in a positive way as the young generations

are

Verb problem

will

show examples

receiving

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

high-quality teachings in their life by

making

Verb problem

giving

show examples

them equipped with the proper knowledge to be a well-rounded individual.

Nonetheless

this

movement brings in some disadvantages as well. High

school

students

are so engrossed with money aspect that, they neglect their studies very often. They are much more prone to working and earning than gaining knowledge.

Consequently

, the number of graduate individuals is gradually decreasing. The repercussions are huge considering the country's educated individuals and growth. As high

school

students

are being exposed to

such

competitive markets very early in their age, they don't have the time needed to nourish their

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

and

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

Hence

this

will create a negative view and disjoint society. In conclusion, working in

part-timetime

Correct your spelling

part-time

jobs

has both advantages and disadvantages. Striking a balance between study and work is essential for the

students

This

movement will bring unprecedented positive outcomes for the

student's

Change noun form

students'

show examples

development if executed in a properly balanced way.

Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on Tue Oct 31 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph links to the main topic and supports the main ideas effectively.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of part-time jobs for high school students.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the richness and variety of your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and precision in your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many high school students take part time jobs. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people argue that in order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to make comments or even critism of their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respects and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success is the best measure for inteligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Nowadays, many mothers take care of the family and don’t go out to work. Some believe they should be given salaries by government. Do you agree or disagree?