Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people agree that
students
Use synonyms
should not be allowed to
use
Use synonyms
their mobile
phone
Use synonyms
during the
study
Use synonyms
time. Others,
however
Linking Words
, think that banning the
phone
Use synonyms
from
students
Use synonyms
is unnecessary. I personally believe that phones
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a useful tool to help their
study
Use synonyms
, yet it is generally true that
students
Use synonyms
often lose their concentration because of mobile
phone
Use synonyms
. With the current advanced technology, especially
Use synonyms
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
,
relying
Add the preposition
relying on
relying upon
show examples
a traditional method to teach in the classroom will no longer
effective
Add a missing verb
be effective
show examples
for the
students
Use synonyms
. Pupils can easily get bored and fall asleep because the teacher only
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
a textbook or a boring PowerPoint material. Involving the
students
Use synonyms
directly in the science experiments will be more interesting for the
students
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
can be done using a mobile
phone
Use synonyms
;
students
Use synonyms
can install an application called "Phyphox"
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their phones which has various tools and sensors for the experiments' activity.
While
Linking Words
Use synonyms
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
can help pupils in their learning
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
, there are more
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
misusing
Wrong verb form
misuse
show examples
their
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
instead
Linking Words
of using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
properly. In many cases, they do not give their attention to their teacher.
Instead
Linking Words
, they are busy with their
phone
Use synonyms
, whether to play a game or open their social media. In my opinion, the school should not ban
smartphone
Use synonyms
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
because
phone
Use synonyms
has many benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
theirself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a student may need to
use
Use synonyms
a
smartphone
Use synonyms
to call their parents to pick up them after school. Giving a proper restriction seems like a better option
instead
Linking Words
of fully banning the
phone
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, allowing
students
Use synonyms
to
use
Use synonyms
their
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
the school day can help the teacher in making more interactive
study
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
have misused their
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
instead
Linking Words
of using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
study
Use synonyms
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. Making some limitations in using mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
may be a good solution to unify the
proponent
Fix the agreement mistake
proponents
show examples
and
opponent
Fix the agreement mistake
opponents
show examples
of
this
Linking Words
topic.
Submitted by rhafisukma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion by making them more concise and structured.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used in the essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Minimize
  • Distractions
  • Prohibit
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate
  • Encourage
  • Social interaction
  • Educational apps
  • Safety tool
  • Emergencies
  • Responsible use
  • Balanced approach
  • Restrictions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: