In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

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The
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In the

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past few years, a large number of small and local shops have been replaced by huge shopping
centers
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centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and malls as
costumers
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customers

The word costumers doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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seem to prefer them.
While
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I acknowledge that there are many drawbacks
from
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to

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this
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growth, I would argue that the benefits are more significant.
To begin
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with,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon caused
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase

The noun phrase increase seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
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in

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employment on the grounds that many businesses opened. To illustrate
this
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, as long as consumers choose to
do
Verb problem
make

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their purchases at malls, businesses hire more staff giving
to
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apply

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plenty of individuals the opportunity to work.
Besides
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the economy of society will be improved on the grounds that more taxes would be paid to
government
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the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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since people spend more than they used to do
at
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on

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shopping arrangements.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

development gives
to
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apply

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citizens the opportunity to socialize and ameliorate their mental health.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, nowadays many people
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their strict daily routine do not have much time to meet their friends and go shopping, that’s why they prefer to stay in and shop online rather than going out.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in large shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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everything
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

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is nearby and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes

It seems that the verb make does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the experience short and
amusement
Replace the word
amusing

The word amusement doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. In conclusion, I believe that everything makes their cycle and nothing
Linking Words
Linking Words
last
Replace the word
lasts

The word last doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for a very long time. Malls and shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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are the development of locals and small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses

It seems that business may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and are adjusted to society’s needs. We should not be worried when something is changing, quite
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite

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, we should consider
about
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apply

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the advantages and new opportunities the changes will bring to
out
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our

The word out doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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lives.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your position (positive or negative) in the introduction paragraph to make it easier for the reader to understand your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas and strengthen your arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and interesting.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy in your writing.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail outlets
  • consumer behavior
  • shop locally
  • convenience
  • variety
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • community
  • personal touch
  • small businesses
  • local economy
  • big corporations
  • dependence
  • shopping habits
  • urbanization
  • globalization
  • competition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: