Question: It is thought that living in a city is better while others believe that life in the countryside is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There has been a controversial idea of whether living in urban or rural areas is better. From my point of view, countryside
life
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seems
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferable
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
several reasons. On the one hand, more and more young
people
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choose to live in major
cities
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because of the convenience and
job
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opportunities. First of all, city dwellers can enjoy a fast and convenient
life
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thanks to the system of transport and a range of shops and malls. In fact, there are many kinds of transportation used in
cities
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, ranging from cars to motorbikes, buses to subways, or boats and
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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. Obviously, the
traveling
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travelling
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demands can be met thoroughly.
Moreover
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, mega
cities
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such
Linking Words
as New York or London are considered as shopping paradises with a variety of luxury brands from
over
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all over
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the world. Shopaholics can find whatever they want in those
cities
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. Another reason why many
people
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support urban
life
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is because of
job
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promotion. Unlike rural areas where it is often difficult for young workers to apply to a big company and earn a stable salary, there are many
job
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vacancies in
cities
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. Graduates are able to try and apply to many corporations as long as they are qualified enough to take over the
job
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. In general, better living standards and chances to get a good
job
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are the reasons why many
people
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want to migrate to
cities
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.
On the other hand
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, sharing
same
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the same
show examples
idea with other supporters, I assume that rural
life
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is a better choice for retired and elderly residents. The first rationale comes from the quality of air. The atmosphere in the
coountryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
is usually
at
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in
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good condition because there are not many industrial areas operated there
as well as
Linking Words
not much traffic like in big
cities
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.
Such
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healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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environment is preferred for those who are at high risk of diseases
such
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as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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seniors.
Secondly
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,
although
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the population there is not much, the bond among neighbours is stronger than that in the city. They tend to share food, snacks and responsibility with each other more frequently. In conclusion, each group holds
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
idea of where to live.
However
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, I strongly believe that
people
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should live in the countryside.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be more clearly defined.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and use more advanced and academic words.
grammatical range
Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and avoid repetitive constructions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
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