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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #relationships #development
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It is obviously admitted that modern
technology
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 plays a vital role in the communications of human beings in many cases.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, most people can experience both benefits and drawbacks of interactions based on
technology
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. In today’s era of modernization, it is irrefutable that hi-techs are becoming a crucial part of several spheres, like business, medicine and education. As an example of
this
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 view, it is possible that businesses are capable of making contracts with their partners in a distant country via social networking systems
such
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 as Zoom. What’s more, doctors can
also
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 make diagnoses of patients accurately with the help of technological advances. When it comes to education, there are so many beneficial sides to using
technology
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 for both teachers and students. It can be clearly seen in the efficiency and the development of education that teachers are able to assess and control quite a lot of students simultaneously. Undoubtedly,
although
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 there are some positive aspects of cooperation between people through
technology
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, many of us tend to come across problems or difficulties. The principal reason for
this
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 tendency is that individuals, especially youngsters, are getting used to establishing their relationships with fellows via social media, which results in disvaluing face-to-face interactions. Another reason behind
this
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 is that overusing technological devices or gadgets causes users to be confused about whether they are in the real or virtual world.
For instance
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, in the game Blue Whale, players are even ready to obey and accomplish the risky orders of
this
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 game in real life. In conclusion,
whereas
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 the role of
technology
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 in communicating with people is superior in certain ways, there are a variety of negative impacts on people’s mindsets as well
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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the prompt and provides a comprehensive response. However, to enhance the task achievement score, try to provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, make sure to effectively transition between ideas and paragraphs to improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay exhibits a good range of vocabulary and effectively communicates ideas. To further enhance your lexical resource score, try to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a good control over grammar, with few errors that do not impede understanding. To improve your grammatical range score, aim for more complex sentence structures and vary the use of sentence types.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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