IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that completing university education is the best way to get a good job. Others, however, think experience and soft skills are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It has become a debatable concern whether academic degrees are a superior method of getting higher-wage jobs or whether practical experiences have
edge
Correct article usage
an edge
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 over formal education. In my opinion, both have specific logic as it depends on the
work
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 and which quality would be suitable for hiring at the workplace.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and elaborate on my view as well.
primerly
Correct your spelling
primarily
primary
, there are a number of jobs that require a degree in a specific subject in terms of getting jobs
in
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particular
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a particular
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 job field
such
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 as medicine. To make it more clear, to become a specialist in any body part like the heart, having a bachelor's degree and specialized training in heart and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
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blood vessel disorders is mandatory. Only after that aspirant can pursue a career of becoming a cardiologist. Apart from that, academic qualifications have been considered a filter at workplaces
while
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 hiring candidates
according to
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 their resumes or LinkedIn profiles.
while
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 attending formal academic classes, learners learn about self-empowerment for exampled discipline, following rules and regulations and many more.
Consequently
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, Higher education can be helpful for many career fields.
On the other hand
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, Hands-on experience provides capabilities of being able to make great communication, teamwork, adaptability leadership skills etc. To epitome it, when professions like sales and marketing,employers prefer employees who have verbal communication skills , able to do
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 among teammates and are able to process the
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 in every change at the workplace or
work
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. It is possible only when a member of staff has real-world experience. Resultantly, merely books are not enough to build these strengths in humans. In conclusion,
although
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 both schooling and practical knowledge have their own valuable places in terms of career orientation, it is oriented on the
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 type that would be the right choice for learners. In my opinion,
while
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 pursuing academic
work
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 , learners should be involved in extracurricular activities or join another course to develop real-world experience skills

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language
Ensure to check for grammatical errors and clarity in your sentences. For instance, phrases like 'specific logic' could be rephrased to 'valid reasons'.
structure
In the introduction, you may want to clearly outline what will be discussed and state your opinion more explicitly. Structure your thesis statement a bit more distinctly.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples with more details to support your arguments. More nuanced examples can strengthen your points.
content
Your introduction sets up the discussion well by presenting the debate clearly.
content
You present balanced views on the importance of academic education and practical experience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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