IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life . What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tackled?

#people #cities #face #range #life
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The citizens who live in large
cities
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in
Change preposition
apply
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nowadays are facing
with
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apply
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a lot of threats
problems
Correct word choice
and problems
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, especially the
pollution
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 of
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
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. It is the result of the illness and the living standard,
however
Linking Words
, the issue can be solved if
people
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 are educated and the government has strain policies to improve the
environment
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.
Firstly
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, because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
pollution
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, many big
cities
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 are dealing with
the diseases problem
Change to a genitive case
the problem of the disease
show examples
. The waste from factories and the fuels from the transports are the main reasons for the
pollution
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.
Besides
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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deforestation and
the
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apply
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ecosystem destruction are
also
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 contributing to
poison
Wrong verb form
poisoning
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 the
environment
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. They have a negative impact on human
life
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 and health as the citizens can easily get cancer, lung diseases or even mental health.
For example
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, in New Delhi city the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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of
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in
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 private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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 leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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serious air
pollution
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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noise
pollution
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,
therefore
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, many
people
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 have left
cities
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.
Secondly
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,
people
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 who live in polluted areas have a very bad
life
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 standard. They always lack
of
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apply
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fresh water, food and the air to inhale.
In addition
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, citizens have to suffer from the stinky trash and the noise from the
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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. In some countries, the rate of
people
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 leaving
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
are
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is
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 increasing is
Change preposition
as the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 result
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
. The
pollution
Use synonyms
 can be reduced if
people
Use synonyms
 are educated.
Such
Linking Words
 as,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools should enhance the teaching of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 for the students and
organizing
Wrong verb form
organise
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 some activities to
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the
environment
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.
As
Change preposition
At
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 that time, the government should promulgate laws to protect human and natural habitats,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 strictly handle actions that pollute the
environment
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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,
although
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
cities
Use synonyms
 face a range of problems, it is undoubtedly possible to start to tackle these issues
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and improve the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
. Governments and local councils must take the lead in dealing with these problems,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 city
life
Use synonyms
 will only get worse in the future.
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Task Response
The essay addresses the topic and presents the main problems faced by people living in large cities. However, there could have been a clearer focus on the 'most significant problems'.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall structure is logical and the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some paragraphs lack coherence and there could be better use of transition words.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate collocations. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and some repetition of words and phrases.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a good command of grammar with mostly accurate sentence structures and a range of grammatical structures. However, there are some errors in subject-verb agreement and tense consistency.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolis
  • commute
  • public transportation
  • gridlock
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • expensive housing
  • exorbitant prices
  • work-life balance
  • recreation areas
  • parks and gardens
  • criminal activities
  • security measures
  • density
  • neighborhood
  • public amenities
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
What to do next:
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