IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to provide enough homes for people living in cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
People hold different views about the most effective solution to housing shortages in large cities.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that constructing tall
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 is the optimal approach, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because a more comprehensive housing strategy is needed to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem in the long term. Admittedly, constructing tall
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 is an efficient way to accommodate a growing urban
population
Use synonyms
. As land in city centres is both scarce and expensive, building upwards enables developers to create a far greater number of housing units without occupying additional land. 
This
Linking Words
 significantly improves land-use efficiency and helps limit urban sprawl, thereby preserving surrounding farmland and green spaces. 
Furthermore
Linking Words
, concentrating residents within high-density developments allows governments to provide public transport, hospitals and schools more efficiently, since these services can be delivered to a larger
population
Use synonyms
 within a relatively small area. 
Consequently
Linking Words
, tall
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 can substantially increase housing availability and relieve pressure caused by rapid
population
Use synonyms
 growth in major cities.
However
Linking Words
, I do not believe that
this
Linking Words
 can be regarded as the best solution. 
Although
Linking Words
 building more
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 increases the number of available homes, it addresses only one aspect of the housing problem. In many cities, housing shortages are
also
Linking Words
 caused by high property prices, uneven
population
Use synonyms
 distribution and insufficient infrastructure. Simply constructing more high-rise buildings cannot solve these underlying issues. Compared with a broader strategy involving affordable housing policies, improved transport networks and balanced regional development, relying solely on tall
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 is far less effective.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it cannot be considered the best way to provide enough homes for urban residents. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 tall
apartment
Use synonyms
blocks
Use synonyms
 undoubtedly play an important role in increasing housing supply, they should be regarded as only one component of a broader housing strategy rather than the best solution.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, your answer is clear and stays on the topic. To get a higher score, add one real or clear example to support your main ideas.
task response
For task response, you give both sides and your opinion is clear. You can make your position even stronger by explaining a little more why your solution is better than tall blocks.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end. This helps the reader follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your linking words are used well. To improve more, vary them a bit and make some ideas connect in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea, which is good. To reach a higher band, develop each main point with a little more detail or an example.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the start and stays the same through the essay.
task response
You answer the question directly and discuss why some people support tall apartment blocks.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a logical order, so the essay is easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: