IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life . What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tackled?

#people #cities #face #range #life
The citizens who live in large
cities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays are facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot of threats
problems
Correct word choice
and problems
show examples
, especially the
pollution
 of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. It is the result of illness and the living standard,
however
, the issues can be solved if
people
 are educated and the government has strain policies to improve the
environment
.
Firstly
, because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
pollution
, many big
cities
 are dealing with
the diseases
Change to a genitive case
the problems of the disease
show examples
problems
. The waste from factories and the fuels from the transports are the main reasons for the
pollution
.
Besides
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deforestation and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ecosystem destruction are
also
 contributing to
poison
Wrong verb form
poisoning
show examples
 the
environment
. They have a negative impact on human
life
 and health as the citizens can easily get cancer, lung diseases or even mental health.
For example
, in New Delhi city the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious air
pollution
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
noise
pollution
,
therefore
, many
people
 have left
cities
.
Secondly
,
people
 who live in polluted areas have a very bad
life
 standard. They always lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
fresh water, food and the air to inhale.
In addition
, citizens have to suffer from the stinky trash and the noise from the
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
. In some countries, the rate of
people
 leaving
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 increasing is
Change preposition
as the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
pollution
. The
pollution
 can be reduced if
people
 are educated.
Such
 as,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools should enhance the teaching of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 for the students and
organizing
Wrong verb form
organise
show examples
 some activities to
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the
environment
.
As
Change preposition
At
show examples
 that time, the government should promulgate laws to protect human and natural habitats,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 strictly handle actions that pollute the
environment
.
To sum up
,
although
it is clear that
cities
 face a range of
problems
, it is undoubtedly possible to start to tackle these issues
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and improve the quality of
life
 in
cities
. Governments and local councils must take the lead in dealing with these
problems
,
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 city
life
 will only get worse in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Expand on the problems faced by people living in large cities and provide more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing the essay structure more effectively. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand and diversify your vocabulary to make your essay more sophisticated and precise.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolis
  • commute
  • public transportation
  • gridlock
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • expensive housing
  • exorbitant prices
  • work-life balance
  • recreation areas
  • parks and gardens
  • criminal activities
  • security measures
  • density
  • neighborhood
  • public amenities
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: