IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life . What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tackled?

#people #cities #face #range #life
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The citizens who live in large
cities
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in
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apply
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nowadays are facing
with
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apply
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a lot of threats
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problems
Correct word choice
and problems
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, especially the
pollution
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 of
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environment
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the environment
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. It is the result of illness and the living standard,
however
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, the issues can be solved if
people
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 are educated and the government has strain policies to improve the
environment
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.
Firstly
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, because of
the
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apply
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environmental
pollution
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, many big
cities
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 are dealing with
the diseases
Change to a genitive case
the problems of the disease
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problems
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. The waste from factories and the fuels from the transports are the main reasons for the
pollution
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.
Besides
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,
the
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apply
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deforestation and
the
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apply
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ecosystem destruction are
also
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 contributing to
poison
Wrong verb form
poisoning
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 the
environment
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. They have a negative impact on human
life
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 and health as the citizens can easily get cancer, lung diseases or even mental health.
For example
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, in New Delhi city the
increasing
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increase
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of
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in
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 private
transports
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transport
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 leads to
the
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apply
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serious air
pollution
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 and
the
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apply
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noise
pollution
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,
therefore
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, many
people
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 have left
cities
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.
Secondly
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,
people
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 who live in polluted areas have a very bad
life
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 standard. They always lack
of
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apply
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fresh water, food and the air to inhale.
In addition
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, citizens have to suffer from the stinky trash and the noise from the
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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. In some countries, the rate of
people
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 leaving
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
are
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is
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 increasing is
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as the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 result
from
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of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
pollution
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. The
pollution
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 can be reduced if
people
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 are educated.
Such
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 as,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools should enhance the teaching of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 for the students and
organizing
Wrong verb form
organise
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 some activities to
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the
environment
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.
As
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At
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 that time, the government should promulgate laws to protect human and natural habitats,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 strictly handle actions that pollute the
environment
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.
To sum up
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,
although
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it is clear that
Linking Words
cities
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 face a range of
problems
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, it is undoubtedly possible to start to tackle these issues
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and improve the quality of
life
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 in
cities
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. Governments and local councils must take the lead in dealing with these
problems
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,
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otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 city
life
Use synonyms
 will only get worse in the future.
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task response
Expand on the problems faced by people living in large cities and provide more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing the essay structure more effectively. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand and diversify your vocabulary to make your essay more sophisticated and precise.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolis
  • commute
  • public transportation
  • gridlock
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • expensive housing
  • exorbitant prices
  • work-life balance
  • recreation areas
  • parks and gardens
  • criminal activities
  • security measures
  • density
  • neighborhood
  • public amenities
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: