It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advanatges of taking risks outweigh the disadvanatges ?

#people #risks #lives #advanatges #disadvanatges

The

twenty first

Add a hyphen

twenty-first

show examples

century has been marked as the epoch of human opportunities, especially when it comes to building a career and living your own

life

. Some

people

tend to take a

risk

whereas

for others it seems unconscious. There are certain benefits and drawbacks which will be discussed below. Living without taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

might be beneficial for some

people

, even if they have

opportunity

Correct article usage

the opportunity

show examples

to do so.

Monotonous

Correct article usage

A monotonous

show examples

and stable

life

does not mean boring for

people

if they see any advantages of

following

this

lifestyle. Building a career in one organisation, receiving all social benefits and planning a family

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

usually related to

life

without sudden movements and extreme activities. Not only

people

Add a missing verb

do people

show examples

try to avoid possible changes

Add the word(s)

, but

show examples

they

also

plan everything carefully in order to keep their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

calm.

On the other hand

, without taking a

risk

is difficult to realize your ambitions. Getting a new position abroad might give you a lucrative job in the future, which means there will be some changes to make. Adrenalin

are

Verb problem

is one

show examples

of the things which push

people

to activate their dreams and plans.

Moreover

, some

people

participate

Change preposition

in extreeme

show examples

extreeme

Correct your spelling

extreme

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

and

then

come up with the idea of setting up a new business.

In other words

, sometimes

risk

is an

essantional

Correct your spelling

essential

in order to achieve your goals. I would like

to conclude

by saying that, there has to be a balance between following a

lifestyly

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

with taking risks and

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

Add an article

an undecisive

the undecisive

show examples

undecisive

Correct your spelling

indecisive

show examples

person.

Submitted by fatemah221027 on Tue Oct 31 2023

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task response coherence

The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in clarity and relevance to the topic. Work on improving the logical structure of the essay to ensure better coherence and cohesion. Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main points and enhance the clarity of ideas.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

242 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advanatges of taking risks outweigh the disadvanatges ?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people believe that time spent on electronic games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Should humans adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point of view?

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed, than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?