Children today spend too much time playing on screens and not enough time doing physical activity. We need to get rid of our children’s devices to avoid severe strains on our health system in the future. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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These days there are a lot of children who become obese

due to

Linking Words

a lack of

moving

Replace the word

movement

show examples

that is

Linking Words

caused by playing gadgets for a long time. There is a statement on the need to prohibit the younger generation from engaging in electronic

devices

Use synonyms

in order to get a healthier lifestyle. I personally do not completely agree with

this

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statement as in

this

Linking Words

era no gadget will cause them to get isolated. Nowadays, the majority of schools require their students to have their own computers or laptops as most homework or subject materials will be posted online.

This

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practice become a normal thing as the development of technology is at a fast pace.

For example

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, these days numerous International schools are having quizzes on websites like Kahoots rather than paper-based.

This

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shows how important for students to have their own

devices

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Moreover

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, Gadget can

also

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help them to obtain information which can be beneficial for their study.

For example

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, Websites like Google or Wikipedia can help them to understand their material better as it will provide concise information to read. Socializing is

also

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one of the crucial factors for the youngers' development. Not only they are able to communicate with their peers online using technological

devices

Use synonyms

, but it

also

Linking Words

can help them to join an international community that can boost their career portfolio in the future.

For example

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, these younger people can do research on what organizations are interesting and might help them to improve themselves through their

devices

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Thus

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, it might be better for them to still have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

access to their gadget but maybe parents can be more strict in terms of the hours of screening.

To conclude

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, I personally do not fully agree with the statement that

devices

Use synonyms

should be kept from children as it will not only their education but

also

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their social life.

lavenia34808Tue Oct 31 2023

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coherence cohesion

Provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the potential negative effects of excessive screen time on children's health

coherence cohesion

Make sure to have a clear thesis statement in the introduction

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay

grammatical range

Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Screen time
Physical activity
Obesity
Posture
Vision problems
Anxiety
Depression
Development
Social skills
Academic performance
Balance
Structured activities
Eliminating devices
Access to technology
Regulated screen time
Outdoor activities
Educational digital content

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Children today spend too much time playing on screens and not enough time doing physical activity. We need to get rid of our children’s devices to avoid severe strains on our health system in the future. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people think people working in creative arts should be financially supported by the government. Others think they should find financial support from other resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that men and ươmen have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?