Children today spend too much time playing on screens and not enough time doing physical activity. We need to get rid of our children’s devices to avoid severe strains on our health system in the future. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
These days there are a lot of children who become obese
due to
a lack of moving
Replace the word
movement
that is
caused by playing gadgets for a long time. There is a statement on the need to prohibit the younger generation from engaging in electronic devices
in order to get a healthier lifestyle. I personally do not completely agree with this
statement as in this
era no gadget will cause them to get isolated.
Nowadays, the majority of schools require their students to have their own computers or laptops as most homework or subject materials will be posted online. This
practice become a normal thing as the development of technology is at a fast pace. For example
, these days numerous International schools are having quizzes on websites like Kahoots rather than paper-based. This
shows how important for students to have their own devices
. Moreover
, Gadget can also
help them to obtain information which can be beneficial for their study. For example
, Websites like Google or Wikipedia can help them to understand their material better as it will provide concise information to read.
Socializing is also
one of the crucial factors for the youngers' development. Not only they are able to communicate with their peers online using technological devices
, but it also
can help them to join an international community that can boost their career portfolio in the future. For example
, these younger people can do research on what organizations are interesting and might help them to improve themselves through their devices
. Thus
, it might be better for them to still have an
access to their gadget but maybe parents can be more strict in terms of the hours of screening.
Remove the article
apply
To conclude
, I personally do not fully agree with the statement that devices
should be kept from children as it will not only their education but also
their social life.Submitted by lavenia34808 on
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coherence cohesion
Provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the potential negative effects of excessive screen time on children's health
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear thesis statement in the introduction
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay
grammatical range
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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