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Band 5.5

Many men and women are making the decisions to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impact of this development on both family and society? Give reasons for your answer and include examples

#men #women #decisions #children #life #trend #impact #development #society
It is true that more people
prefered
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to get hitched and have
baby
Add an article
a baby
show examples
 later in their life. Even so, most people can experience both benefits and drawbacks to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
subsequently
 in their creations. I will support
this
 view with arguments in the following paragraphs. Nowadays, many humans think that having
children
 later is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 thing because our child wants to stand out from other
children
. These
children
 have a more developed outlook.
Furthermore
, young families believe that they are not yet ready for
such
 a thing and to make a career. They want to have
well paid
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well-paid
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 and permanent
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 before progeny and women aspire to maintain their external beauty. Sometimes, in
such
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
 people are afraid and prepare themselves for
this
 to adapt to
this
 viability.Family environment is
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 a factor.
For example
, parents spend less time with their young ones. On the one hand, there are some positive influences
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 families.
Firstly
, parents
expend
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 a lot of time with their
children
. They prepare lessons, play various games,
go
Correct word choice
and go
show examples
 walks together. Good employees for the government will develop . He has a good relationship with his guardian.
For example
, do not do anything without their permission ,
respects
Wrong verb form
respect
show examples
 them,
first
Correct word choice
and first
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 and foremost
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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speak loudly to them.
Besides
,
children
 have a wider role to play in our family. In conclusion , each group has their own response and they can choose their personal life. Before making a decision, they should consider carefully all positive and negative outcomes
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 choose
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task response
The essay does not fully address the task prompt. It lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The ideas presented are not comprehensive and lack specific examples to support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion. There is a lack of logical structure, with ideas being presented in a disorganized manner. The introduction and conclusion are not present.
lexical resource
The lexical resource of the essay is weak. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and limited vocabulary. The essay also lacks variety in sentence structures.
grammatical range
The grammatical range of the essay is limited. There are numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, incomplete sentences, and incorrect word order.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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