Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Nowdays

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

wealth and

glmour

Correct your spelling

glamour

are

considering

Wrong verb form

considered

show examples

influencial

Correct your spelling

influential

than the talents of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities.

while

Linking Words

some people believe that it will give

a bad examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

a bad example

bad examples

show examples

of the following new generation. I completely agree with the view and I will explain my support in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Body paragraph 1

Celebraties

Correct your spelling

Celebrities

are become more

influencial

Correct your spelling

influential

in the social

media

Use synonyms

era. Hollywood celebrities are more famous for their

lexury

Correct your spelling

luxurious

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

and

maintaining

Change preposition

for maintaining

show examples

their beauty, so

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

yougsters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

have

Correct article usage

the tendancy

show examples

tendancy

Correct your spelling

tendency

to follow them and they are

consdering

Correct your spelling

considering

them as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

people and taking them as an

exmaple

Correct your spelling

example

Body paragraph 2

For instance

Linking Words

, a famous

hollywood

Change the capitalization

Hollywood

show examples

actress who has been criticised for her acting has more followers than

the

Correct article usage

show examples

oscar

Capitalize word

Oscar

show examples

won

Verb problem

apply

show examples

actress who has

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

reputation in the industry.

Body paragraph 3

Moreover

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenegers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

are living in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

parellel

Correct your spelling

parallel

world of social

media

Use synonyms

may

giving

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

them wrong examples.

The social

Correct article usage

Social

show examples

media

Use synonyms

plateforms

Correct your spelling

platforms

are become

Change to the active voice

become

have become

show examples

Add an article

the place

a place

show examples

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

to show

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wealth and glamour.

For instance

Linking Words

, the famous pop star using banned drugs

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

viral

Change preposition

show examples

social

media

Use synonyms

and

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

some

teenegers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

are

influced

Correct your spelling

influenced

him

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

and start

Change preposition

apply

show examples

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

those drugs or

atleast

Correct your spelling

at least

they

started

Wrong verb form

start

show examples

to justify the usage of those drugs.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities have a great extend

responsibilties

Correct your spelling

responsibility

to lead

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young people to guide

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the right path, but

unfortunately

Add a comma

unfortunately,

show examples

some of the

celebrites

Correct your spelling

celebrities

are giving

wrong

Change the article

the wrong

show examples

example to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society by showing their wealth and glamour rather than their performance and ability.

ck.manshad

Oct 31, 2023

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task response

You have addressed the topic well and provided relevant arguments to support your viewpoint. However, make sure to develop your ideas further and provide more specific examples.

coherence cohesion

You have organized your essay reasonably well, but the introduction and conclusion need to be improved. Make sure to clearly state your position and summarise your main points in the conclusion.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is generally good, but try to vary your word choice and use more advanced vocabulary to enhance your essay. Additionally, pay attention to word forms and collocations.

grammatical range

Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are some errors in sentence structure and verb tense consistency. Review the use of articles, verb forms, and tense consistency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

237 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

celebrities
glamour
wealth
achievements
dangerous
young people
idolized
aspire
materialistic
impressionable
personal growth
meaningful
goals
hard work
dedication
intellectual pursuits
positive impact
platform
parents
educators
role models
guiding
inspire
reach their full potential

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Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that parents should punish their children when they misbehave. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many people believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their children. Do you agree or disagree?