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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, people decide to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #people #children #age #development
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In
this
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 current era, there is no doubt about the fact that having
children
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 at a later age has become quite common.
This
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 essay will delve into the positive and negative sides of
this
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 phenomenon,
as well as
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 provide examples and arguments on why I personally believe that the merits overshadow the demerits.
To begin
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 with, the reason why
people
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 have
children
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 later is that there are a lot of upsides. One prime advantage is that
people
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 could do better in their
career
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careers
show examples
. To explain, without
children
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,
people
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 would decrease
their
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the
show examples
 pressure from family.
Therefore
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, they are more likely to pay more attention to their job and get praise from their managers or colleagues.
In addition
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, having a baby later
also
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 has positive effects on their
children
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. To elaborate,
people
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 are able to give support to their kids for their future.
For instance
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, when
people
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 are young, they can save money and accumulate experience. When their
children
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 face some adversity, they can give useful support and suggestions to their kids.
Nevertheless
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, everything has pros and cons. Having
children
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 later
also
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 causes some problems.
In other words
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, it is harmful to
people
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’s health. That means
,
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apply
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 it is common that
people
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’s physical condition is not as good as young.
Thus
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, it is not easy for
people
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 to recuperate after giving birth.
Furthermore
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, there is a huge gap between parents and
children
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, which means it makes their relationship bad.
For example
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,
children
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 could not understand their parents’ opinions. And
then
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, they may argue with their parents frequently. In conclusion,
although
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 having kids at a later age may cause health and family relationship problems, I still consider that it is
conductive
Correct your spelling
conducive
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 to
people
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’s careers and
children
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’s future.
Thus
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, the
overall
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 advantages overshadow
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
Submitted by 1550018584 on

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Task Response
Make sure to fully address all parts of the question prompt and provide a clear and comprehensive analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay in a logical and coherent manner, with clear introduction and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise words and expressions throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures and make sure to avoid repetitive language.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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