Some people give more importance to artists (painter, writers, musicians) in the current age of rapidly developing technology and science. What do you think? Do people prefer arts to technology in your view?
The vital role of the
arts
in the era of technology
is undeniable. It has sparked heated controversies that many people
claim artists such
as painters, writers or musicians are paid more attention in this
digital era. From my perspective, I do not agree with that and I prefer technology
to arts
.
Admittedly, arts
play a key role in our lives, especially when we are living in the technology
and science era. First,
we usually miss the time spent with family due to
the Internet addiction. As we get older, we want to recall these memories with our family. We rely on art, which stays as a type of memory and mental motivation. Second,
arts
have a positive impact on our mental health and help us reduce stress. In fact, people
usually recover from their health issues due to
music and art. These types stay as a kind of motivation,
and boost our mood and energy.
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However
, technology
brings more convenience to human lives, on the other hand
, it brings to us many opportunities in these fields such
as healthcare, education, and jobs for employees. In detail, without the support of cutting-edge devices, we can not achieve such
outstanding performances as today. To be more precise, we need these modern gadgets to compete in this
dog-eat-dog global market. As a consequence
, people
need to learn how state-of-the-art devices work and how to use them. Besides
, the art also
needs the reinforcement of technology
sometimes, such
as the musicians needing advanced apps to fix their rhythm and melody. As a result
, with the foundation of technology
, a country is able to boost its financial situation and compete in this
cutthroat world.
In conclusion, I do not agree that the majority of people
prefer the arts
to technology
. I am of the opinion that people
should put technology
over than arts
because of the functional benefits it brings to us.Submitted by okookk123456 on
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task achievement
Consider clarifying the main points further and ensuring all examples are directly relevant to the argument presented. This will strengthen your position and make your essay even more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the seamlessness of transitions between paragraphs. This can help maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
Include a few more concrete examples to support your claims, which will make your arguments even stronger.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The main points are well-developed and supported with examples, making the essay coherent and easy to follow.
task achievement
The task is addressed comprehensively, with a balanced examination of both arts and technology.