Some people give more importance to artists (painter, writers, musicians) in the current age of rapidly developing technology and science. What do you think? Do people prefer arts to technology in your view?

#people #importance #artists #painter #writers #musicians #age #technology #science #arts

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The vital role of the

arts

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in the era of

technology

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is undeniable. It has sparked heated controversies that many

people

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claim artists

such

Linking Words

as painters, writers or musicians are paid more attention in

this

Linking Words

digital era. From my perspective, I do not agree with that and I prefer

technology

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arts

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. Admittedly,

arts

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play a key role in our lives, especially when we are living in the

technology

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and science era.

First,

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we usually miss the time spent with family

due to

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the Internet addiction. As we get older, we want to recall these memories with our family. We rely on art, which stays as a type of memory and mental motivation.

Second,

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arts

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have a positive impact on our mental health and help us reduce stress. In fact,

people

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usually recover from their health issues

due to

Linking Words

music and art. These types stay as a kind of motivation

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apply

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and boost our mood and energy.

However

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technology

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brings more convenience to human lives,

on the other hand

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, it brings to us many opportunities in these fields

such

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as healthcare, education, and jobs for employees. In detail, without the support of cutting-edge devices, we can not achieve

such

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outstanding performances as today. To be more precise, we need these modern gadgets to compete in

this

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dog-eat-dog global market.

As a consequence

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people

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need to learn how state-of-the-art devices work and how to use them.

Besides

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, the art

also

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needs the reinforcement of

technology

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sometimes,

such

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as the musicians needing advanced apps to fix their rhythm and melody.

As a result

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, with the foundation of

technology

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, a country is able to boost its financial situation and compete in

this

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cutthroat world. In conclusion, I do not agree that the majority of

people

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prefer the

arts

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technology

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. I am of the opinion that

people

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should put

technology

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over than

arts

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because of the functional benefits it brings to us.

Submitted by okookk123456 on Mon Aug 05 2024

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task achievement

Consider clarifying the main points further and ensuring all examples are directly relevant to the argument presented. This will strengthen your position and make your essay even more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Work on improving the seamlessness of transitions between paragraphs. This can help maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.

task achievement

Include a few more concrete examples to support your claims, which will make your arguments even stronger.

coherence and cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.

coherence and cohesion

The main points are well-developed and supported with examples, making the essay coherent and easy to follow.

task achievement

The task is addressed comprehensively, with a balanced examination of both arts and technology.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Some people give more importance to artists (painter, writers, musicians) in the current age of rapidly developing technology and science. What do you think? Do people prefer arts to technology in your view?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of living a number of different places during your childhood years??

Some food travels long distance from the producers to the consumers. Some people believe that it is better for the environment and economy if people only buy food produced by local farmers. Do you think the advantages of this idea would outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. do you agree or disagree

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?