Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?.
We are living in a fast-changing world, and our lives are totally different from the ones a couple of decades ago. Nowadays, there are various kinds of stress that
children
have to face. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss the problems associated with Linking Words
this
trend Linking Words
along with
the solutions in the subsequent paragraphs.
Linking Words
To begin
with, there are several reasons contributing to Linking Words
children
’s pressure. The primary cause of Use synonyms
this
problem is that all the kids are outstanding and the competition in society is more and more intense. Linking Words
In other words
, if Linking Words
children
want to succeed, they have to compete with other Use synonyms
children
. One prime example is that when Use synonyms
children
want to get the golden medal in the Olympic competition, they have to beat the other Use synonyms
children
. Without Use synonyms
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
hardly
, they would not been successful. Change the word
hard
In addition
, the anticipation from their Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
also
brings Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
stress
. To explain, Add the particle
to stress
parents
always want their Use synonyms
children
to be eminent. Use synonyms
Therefore
, they may let their Linking Words
children
learn a great number of skills compulsively. Use synonyms
Children
do not have enough time to relax, they may feel tired and Use synonyms
stressful
.
To tackle Replace the word
stressed
this
problem, it is of great significance that schools should increase physical education classes. Only in Linking Words
this
way can they release their stress and keep healthy. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
for
Change preposition
apply
parents
, Use synonyms
they
should encourage Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
sincerely Use synonyms
instead
of denying their Linking Words
abilities
to learn. Fix the agreement mistake
ability
As a result
, Linking Words
children
will become more confident and optimistic.
In conclusion, competition and expectation are the main obstacles Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
this
phenomenon. Only when Linking Words
school
and Fix the agreement mistake
schools
parents
cooperate together, can Use synonyms
this
problem be solvedLinking Words
.
Change the punctuation
?
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task response
Make sure to address both causes and solutions in your essay. You have discussed the causes of children's pressure, but you have only provided one solution. Try to provide more specific and practical solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your essay has a logical structure. However, you can improve the connection between ideas to enhance coherence. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to link your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is satisfactory, but you can further improve it by using a wider range of vocabulary and collocations related to the topic. This will add depth and variety to your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is adequate, but there are some errors in verb tenses and word order. Pay attention to sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and use of articles to enhance your grammatical accuracy.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example