IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

3. Some people think it is one of the best ways to solve the environmental problems by increasing the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
For some people, combustible materials are seen as a significant contributor to social and environmental problems. They believe that improving environmental issues will help solve these problems. In
this
 article, I will examine some facts that lead me to believe that
this
 is not the most effective solution and provide some examples.
Firstly
, an increase in fuel
prices
 affects a country's economy. Since a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of goods depend on local transportation,
such
 as trucks, vans,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
cars, etc.,
Therefore
,
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 will be reflected in the final price of these goods, resulting in the end consumer
having
Change the form of the verb
has
show examples
 to pay for it.
For example
, if a supermarket relies on trucks to receive finished goods, they will have to increase their
prices
 because trucks primarily use expensive and flammable materials to transport them to the supermarket. Another reason why I support
this
 view is because recycling would provide more benefits than increasing fuel
prices
. It is understood that over the past few decades, fewer than 25% of countries in the world have been encouraging people to recycle.
As a result
, the remaining 25% of all waste produced in the country is disposed of without control, leading to an extremely detrimental effect on the environment.
For example
, in emerging countries, people tend to litter in areas
such
 as rivers and lakes, making them susceptible to water-related issues in the near future. All in all, I believe that there are better ways to proceed than by increasing fuel
prices
.
This
 action could potentially damage a nation's economy. With
this
 in mind, governments should focus on managing their own recycling systems, which will significantly improve the environment.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

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Task Response
Provide a clear thesis statement that states your position on the topic. This helps the reader understand your viewpoint from the beginning of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas and arguments in a clear and logical manner. Use paragraphs to separate different ideas and provide smooth transitions between them.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate your language skills.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Avoid repetitive phrases and errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • public transportation
  • carbon footprint
  • economic incentives
  • alternative energy vehicles
  • fuel-efficient
  • government subsidies
  • economic disparity
  • urban planning
  • rural infrastructure
  • sustainable development
  • carbon tax
  • green technology
  • demand elasticity
  • energy conservation
  • climate change mitigation
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