IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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Car
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ownership
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 has increased rapidly over the past thirty years, leading many cities worldwide to become ‘one big
traffic
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 jam.’
This
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 statement reflects a significant trend, and
this
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 essay will discuss the reasons for the rise in
car
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ownership
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 and its impact on urban
traffic
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, before presenting potential solutions that
governments
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 could implement to address
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, there are several reasons why individuals tend to purchase their own vehicles. A primary factor is the discomfort many people experience when using public
transportation
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.
For instance
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, unreliable schedules and overcrowded buses can deter individuals from utilizing these services, prompting them to seek the convenience of personal cars.
Additionally
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, the rising need for mobility in today’s fast-paced society
further
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 drives
car
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ownership
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.
For example
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, during my time as a student working part-time, I found it necessary to own a
car
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 to manage the demands of commuting to different locations multiple times daily. These factors contribute to the congestion and
traffic
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 problems many urban areas face today. To mitigate these challenges,
governments
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 can implement several effective measures. Enhancing public
transportation
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 systems is crucial;
this
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 includes expanding train and bus networks, improving service reliability, and ensuring that public transport is safe and comfortable.
Additionally
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,
governments
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 may consider introducing policies to limit
car
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ownership
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.
For instance
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, they could establish criteria regarding vehicle
ownership
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, encouraging families to maintain one
car
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instead
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 of multiple vehicles.
Furthermore
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, initiatives
such
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 as tax incentives for carpooling and using public transport could encourage individuals to opt for shared or public
transportation
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 alternatives. In conclusion, the rapid increase in
car
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ownership
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 globally has led to significant
traffic
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 challenges, especially in urban environments. It is imperative that
governments
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 take proactive steps to address
car
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 congestion, not only by improving public
transportation
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 but
also
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 by considering regulations that manage
car
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ownership
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 effectively. By doing so, cities can foster a more sustainable and less congested future.

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task achievement
Expand on the potential consequences of increased car ownership on the environment and urban planning.
task achievement
Consider discussing potential cultural or social factors that influence car ownership trends.
coherence cohesion
Use additional linking words or phrases to further enhance the natural flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that are well-articulated.
task achievement
Main points are logically structured and supported with relevant examples, such as the personal anecdote about commuting as a student.
task achievement
The essay explores several practical solutions that governments can implement to tackle the issue of increasing car ownership.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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