You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter, include the following information: 1) what kind of business you want to start 2) how much money you need 3)the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses

#business #bank #information #loan #finance #company #money #length #time #addresses

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Dear Sir, I hope

this

letter finds you well. I am writing

this

letter in context to avail a business loan from your bank. I am a professional dentist and I want to start a clinic, where I will be doing all kinds of dental procedures. I graduated in 2014 and ever since after

that

Add a comma

that,

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I have been working in a private hospital as a junior dentist, in order to, gain practical experience. There are a few things, which I need to start my business.

Firstly

, a commercial space on rent.

Secondly

, dental equipment

such

as Dental

chair

Fix the agreement mistake

chairs

show examples

X-Ray

Correct your spelling

X-ray

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Machine

Fix the agreement mistake

Machines

show examples

, Air

compressor

Fix the agreement mistake

compressors

show examples

etc and

lastly

, dental materials.

Therefore

, I am looking for a loan amount

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

Seven Lacs, because I want to buy standardised

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

only. I have talked with a few clinicians and

according to

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of them, it takes around three to four years to establish a clinic.

Hence

, keeping that in mind it would be great

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

loan

Add an article

the loan

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tenure is 5 Years and I will be paying

installments

Change the spelling

instalments

show examples

monthly

Correct article usage

a monthly

show examples

basis. I hope you

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

do best in your limits to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

my needs. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.

Submitted by mrsdns on Tue Nov 19 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to enhance clarity. The paragraph about the business details could bring in specific costs for transparency.

Greeting and Closing

Consider using a formal salutation and complementary close for improved business letter etiquette.

Task Response

The letter addresses all the required points: type of business, amount needed, and repayment plan.

Suitability of Writing Tone

The writing tone is polite and appropriately formal for a business letter.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

198 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

business loan
finance
capital
entrepreneur
startup
investment
repayment period
repayment schedule
principal amount
interest rate
financial assistance
business plan
profit potential
market analysis
industry opportunities

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