Some people state that elderly require more attention from their family, so it is better to let them in retirement home in with their friends who are the same age

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Some

people

Use synonyms

state that older adults require more attention from their family, so it is better to put them in retirement

homes

Use synonyms

in order to they can gather with their friends who are the same age. Despite

this

Linking Words

, others believe that elderly

people

Use synonyms

should live with their family in one convenient home to increase happiness.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with the latter statement and will show that, in spite of some concern about Its effect on mental health issues and cultural On one hand, those who focus on putting

people

Use synonyms

aged more than 60 years in the aged home tend to think that it is better to gain their happiness on the grounds that they can join with the same age.

Although

Linking Words

they can be ups and downs, at the same time

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will lead to many health issues , especially mental health. Take an example, Based on research conducted by WHO, It is an increasing number of elderly

people

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suffering from

depression

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. In 2020, It reached around 20 % of the total number of elderly

people

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in the USA.

This

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was occurred

due to

Linking Words

far from family members and their relatives.

As a result

Linking Words

, older adults feel lonely and stressed which impacts

depression

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However

Linking Words

, I believe that

depression

Use synonyms

among the elderly can be resolved by making them closer to their family for the rest of their life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, based on a cultural perspective, especially in Indonesia. Indonesian

people

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believe that putting their parents in nursing

homes

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will make them

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

For example

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

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a small city in Indonesia called Kupang, have a culture, where if someone lets their parents into old

people

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’s

homes

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they will be ostracized by society.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, living with the elderly in the same house as their family members can increase their life expectations and build strong family relationships. For better and for worse, family relationships play a central role in shaping an individual’s well-being across the life course. In conclusion, relocating elderly

people

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to nursing

homes

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is better to increase their happiness, I believe that putting the elderly with their family members will avoid its effect on

depression

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and society's ostracized.

musa.nuwaWed Nov 01 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.

relevant specific examples

Provide more specific examples and discuss both sides of the argument in more detail.

logical structure

Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

360 words

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Some people state that elderly require more attention from their family, so it is better to let them in retirement home in with their friends who are the same age

Your opinion

Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

More and more people are interested in finding out their family history. Why has this happened? Is this a positive or negative development?

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens’ health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.