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Band 2.5

It is difficult for people who live in cities to get enough physical exercise. What causes and solutions can be taken to solve the problem?

#people #cities #exercise
In the current world, physical activities aren't much
into
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in
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 practice.
In
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This
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this
 essay will discuss various reasons and enumerate
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
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 why urban
residents
 have difficulty working out regularly.
In addition
,
will
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there will
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also
have
Verb problem
be
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 some
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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solutions to it. 
Firstly
, the people living in the cities have really hectic schedules and
this
 is the most common reason why physical activity cannot be performed. In
this
 city lifestyle,
due to
 the workload, stress and long working hours in
such
 situations
residents
 would skip exercise and have rest to get over the load. Another reason could be the development of buildings and construction of companies etc in the open space available for jogging and running leading to scarcity of place.
Hence
, urban
residents
 are more involved in active
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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 rather than physical exercise. 
On the other hand
,
they
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there
show examples
 are many solutions which are easily doable. The employers can encourage the
eomployees
Correct your spelling
employees
 to do activities. The Human
source
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resources
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 department can help
in
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by
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 providing a few minutes
workout
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of workout
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 before starting the work for employees.
For example
, in different
countries
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countries,
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 people have a quick workout session before starting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the government
also
 needs to provide parks and open spaces for the
residents
 to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
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 and have leisure time in fresh air.  In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 physical activity would be difficult for urban area
residents
 but there are
enumerous
Correct your spelling
numerous
 reasons to get over the problem.
Submitted by noorainfatima135 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to your essay. This will help the reader understand the purpose and main points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will make your essay more convincing and coherent.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task question and provide a well-developed response. Your essay should clearly discuss the causes and solutions to the problem of lack of physical exercise in cities.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structure. This will make your essay more interesting to read and demonstrate your language proficiency.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence construction. Make sure your sentences are clear and accurate.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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