The shortage of housing in big cities can cause severe consequences and only governmental actions can solve the problem. Do you agree or disagree?

One of the typical concerns today is the concept of housing shortage.
While
some argue that only the government can solve
this
problem for citizens, I completely disagree with
this
view for a number of reasons. Clearly, private real estate companies are
also
necessary for increasing the housing supply.
In particular
, since these enterprises are smaller and more active than state-owned ones, they tend to fulfil housing needs more rapidly and effectively.
For instance
, in several developed nations, the middle class, which has consistently exhibited a greater need for property, can benefit more from enterprises that provide superior client services and employ skilled professionals to construct luxurious edifices.
This
helps to increase public awareness of the importance of promoting economic development. Most importantly, individuals can take steps to mitigate the problem by living in the suburbs and using public transportation. More specifically, as factories relocate to rural areas, workers may choose to rent housing close to their workplaces.
As a result
, the population density will decrease significantly, which will ease housing shortages in urban areas.
However
, it makes sense for the government to play an important role in the social security system. The authorities have provided two things for society: social housing and financial support.
For instance
, Hanoi has constructed thousands of affordable apartments for low-income individuals like single parents, the elderly, and other vulnerable populations. By doing so, they can purchase private property. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the problem of housing shortages can be best addressed when governments, businesses, and individuals collaborate to meet the needs of residents.
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task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt by discussing the role of the government, private real estate companies, and individuals in solving the housing shortage problem. However, try to present a clear position on whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion through clear topic sentences and supporting examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more strong and well-developed.
lexical resource
Your essay shows a good range of vocabulary and uses appropriate terms to discuss the topic of housing shortage and government actions. To improve further, try to use more varied and sophisticated vocabulary throughout the essay.
grammatical range
Your essay has a good range of sentence structures and shows control over grammar. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors that can be corrected to enhance the overall clarity of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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