In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many societies all over the world, rural people are relocating to urban places causing a decline in countryside populations.
This
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essay is neither entirely positive nor negative because of economic opportunities ,access to services that are provided in
cities
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and consequences
which are
Verb problem
that
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appear
due to
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devastation
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the devastation
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exurban
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of exurban
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areas On the positive side,
is
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apply
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cities
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offer better job opportunities, higher wages, and improved access to education and healthcare. Many people from rural areas migrate to
cities
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to escape poverty and build better lives.
Additionally
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, urban
centers
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centres
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enhance economies by concentrating
industries
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on industries
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, innovation, and investment.
For example
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, countries like China and India have seen rapid economic growth
due to
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urbanization, with
cities
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becoming engines of development.
However
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, the drawbacks of rural depopulation are severe.
First,
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the loss of young workers weakens rural economies, leading to the closure of schools, hospitals, and local businesses.
Second,
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overpopulated
cities
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struggle with housing shortages, traffic congestion, and pollution, lowering the quality of life for residents.
Third,
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as fewer people work in agriculture, food production may decline, increasing reliance on imports and threatening food security and it
influence
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influences
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to economics of all
contry
Correct your spelling
countries
.
For instance
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, during
the
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apply
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COVID-19, many countries realized the dangers of depending too much on
global
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the global
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food supply so they needed rural production. In conclusion,
while
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rural-to-urban migration helps individuals improve their lives, its long-term consequences are problematic. Governments should invest in rural development to create opportunities outside
cities
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while
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improving urban planning to manage growth sustainably. A balanced approach is necessary to ensure both rural and urban areas thrive.

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task achievement
Consider rephrasing the introduction for clarity and grammatical accuracy. It could start with a clearer statement of your position (e.g., whether you find the development mostly positive or negative).
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea to improve the logical flow.
task achievement
While examples are present, they could be more detailed to strengthen your argument. For instance, providing specific data or references could enhance the points about economic growth or food security.
coherence and cohesion
Using linking words more effectively can help to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
content
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is commendable and demonstrates a balanced perspective.
content
Real-world examples, such as referencing China and India's economic growth due to urbanization, effectively illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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