IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In recent years, the
migration
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 of rural populations to urban areas has become a widespread trend across many countries.
While
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this
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 movement may bring certain benefits,
this
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 essay believes it is largely a negative development
due to
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 its long-term consequences for both rural communities and urban infrastructure. One of the most concerning effects of rural depopulation is the decline of local economies and traditions. As young people leave villages in search of better job prospects, rural areas are often left with an ageing population and a shrinking workforce.
For instance
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, in rural parts of Japan, thousands of small towns have become "ghost villages" with abandoned homes and shuttered schools
due to
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 youth
migration
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 to Tokyo and Osaka.
As a result
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, traditional farming practices, local festivals, and family-run businesses are disappearing at an alarming rate. At the same time, the rapid increase in urban population places enormous pressure on
city
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the city
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 infrastructure. Overcrowded housing, traffic congestion, and inadequate public services are becoming increasingly common. A clear example is the city of Manila in the Philippines, where rural-urban
migration
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 has led to the growth of sprawling informal settlements. Many residents live without access to clean water, proper sanitation, or healthcare, resulting in public health issues and widening social inequality.
Although
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 many people move to cities for better opportunities, it is possible to reduce
this
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 trend by improving conditions in rural areas. In Azerbaijan, the government has started several programs to support rural development,
such
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 as building new roads, improving schools, and offering support for small businesses in agriculture and tourism.
For example
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, in regions like Quba and Sheki, more people are choosing to stay in their hometowns because they can find work in farming, local production, or ecotourism. These improvements help villages remain active and reduce the pressure on large cities like Baku. In conclusion,
meanwhile
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meanwhile,
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 urban
migration
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 may offer individuals better prospects, the provided essay suggests the
overall
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 impact of declining rural populations is negative. It leads to the deterioration of rural life and creates serious challenges for urban planning. A more sustainable approach would involve improving conditions in the countryside to reduce the need for mass
migration
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.

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task achievement
While the overall argument is clear, consider making the thesis statement in the introduction more explicit by directly stating that urban migration has a negative overall impact.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that directly links the main idea to the overall argument. This can enhance clarity and focus.
task achievement
Consider adding a counter-argument or discussing potential benefits of rural-urban migration in more detail, as this would strengthen your essay and demonstrate a more balanced perspective.
structure
The essay presents a well-structured argument with clear main points and relevant examples demonstrating the impact of rural depopulation and urban migration.
examples
The use of specific examples, such as Japan and the Philippines, effectively illustrates the issues faced by both rural communities and urban areas, adding depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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