IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than those who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #centuries
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Advanced
technology
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 has been developed in the recent decade.
This
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 brings about a rather convenient lifestyle than the way of living in the past decade.I agree that with the progression of
technology
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, the well-being of humans has been lifted with enormous changes.
To begin
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 with, numerous innovative inventions arise with the advent of technological breakthroughs.
In other words
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, daily
life
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 involves assisting devices that relieve the burdens of routine chores.
For example
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, smartphones become an indispensable tool for everyone in every workplace.Their functions are not only for communication but the camera and other useful facilities are
also
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 provided.
As a result
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, the productivity and effectiveness of working increase significantly.
In addition
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, in
this
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 globalization era,various effective vehicles have been invented to meet people's demands.By taking new transportation, they can connect to other places more quickly than in the past.
This
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 means that the
time
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 of transportation is shorter,so they can reach any destination without a
time
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 barrier.
For instance
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, looking back over 10 years ago, there was no domestic flight in Thailand, so the bus was the main vehicle to transfer people from remote areas to the capital.With the invention of smarter aeroplanes, Thai people can travel anywhere domestically with affordable ticket fees.Thereby,
overall
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 quality of
life
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 is improved with the modern facilities. In conclusion, the way of
life
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 in the 21st century has substantial differences from the past
according to
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 the recent advances in
technology
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.
Such
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 progression makes
life
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 easier, so the human can
further
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 develop more professional tasks. If
technology
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 is continuously changed from
time
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 to
time
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, the next generation will have a better quality of
life
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 than the present.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the prompt by discussing the advancements in technology and their impact on the quality of life in the 21st century. However, the arguments could have been more focused and developed further to provide a stronger stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is coherent, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported by relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from organizing the arguments more effectively to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary with some relevant terminology related to technology and lifestyle. However, to improve the lexical resource score, it would be beneficial to incorporate more varied vocabulary and use it in a more precise and natural manner.
grammatical range
The essay has a generally accurate and appropriate use of grammar, with only minor errors. To improve the grammatical range score, attempt to incorporate more complex sentence structures and demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures throughout the essay.
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