IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than those who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #centuries
Advanced
technology
 has been developed in the recent decade.
This
 brings about a rather convenient lifestyle than the way of living in the past decade.I agree that with the progression of
technology
, the well-being of humans has been lifted with enormous changes.
To begin
 with, numerous innovative inventions arise with the advent of technological breakthroughs.
In other words
, daily
life
 involves assisting devices that relieve the burdens of routine chores.
For example
, smartphones become an indispensable tool for everyone in every workplace.Their functions are not only for communication but the camera and other useful facilities are
also
 provided.
As a result
, the productivity and effectiveness of working increase significantly.
In addition
, in
this
 globalization era,various effective vehicles have been invented to meet people's demands.By taking new transportation, they can connect to other places more quickly than in the past.
This
 means that the
time
 of transportation is shorter,so they can reach any destination without a
time
 barrier.
For instance
, looking back over 10 years ago, there was no domestic flight in Thailand, so the bus was the main vehicle to transfer people from remote areas to the capital.With the invention of smarter aeroplanes, Thai people can travel anywhere domestically with affordable ticket fees.Thereby,
overall
 quality of
life
 is improved with the modern facilities. In conclusion, the way of
life
 in the 21st century has substantial differences from the past
according to
 the recent advances in
technology
.
Such
 progression makes
life
 easier, so the human can
further
 develop more professional tasks. If
technology
 is continuously changed from
time
 to
time
, the next generation will have a better quality of
life
 than the present.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the prompt by discussing the advancements in technology and their impact on the quality of life in the 21st century. However, the arguments could have been more focused and developed further to provide a stronger stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is coherent, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported by relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from organizing the arguments more effectively to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary with some relevant terminology related to technology and lifestyle. However, to improve the lexical resource score, it would be beneficial to incorporate more varied vocabulary and use it in a more precise and natural manner.
grammatical range
The essay has a generally accurate and appropriate use of grammar, with only minor errors. To improve the grammatical range score, attempt to incorporate more complex sentence structures and demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures throughout the essay.
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