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Band 7.5

Some people believe that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matter is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Today most workplaces have an identity,
in other words
Linking Words
, a brand to attract consumers.
This
Linking Words
 includes the work uniforms, advertisements, and discounts.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that companies should not care about how their employees dress, because the important thing is the calibre of their job. The essay will discuss my disagreement on the matter.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, all companies around the world focus on uniforms and how the employer carries himself, especially if he is working in the customer service sector, which allows him to interact with people, and most of them will not be satisfied if the worker is in terrible condition.
For example
Linking Words
, a payer wants to return an object, but he sees that the employer didn't dress nicely;
as a result
Linking Words
, he will give the store a bad review and think the management is irresponsible.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, dressing nicely is a part of the strategy to bring more profit.
For instance
Linking Words
, stores that sell cosmetics ensure that all their employees dress
according to
Linking Words
 fashion with a name tag so it will be easier for people to ask for help.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they make sure to put on makeup so end users know the quality of the product they are paying for.
hence
Linking Words
, the development of consumer trust in the brand leading to an increase in sales.
Conclusion
In conclusion, workplace attire is essential in different departments for user satisfaction.
This
Linking Words
 implies that most individuals judge the book by its cover;
that is
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 why it is important for workers to make their outfits acceptable and professional to draw consumers
while
Linking Words
 reflecting the good name of the company.

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your coherence and cohesion can be improved by using more varied linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents a clear opinion, and the arguments are well-aligned with the prompt, demonstrating a full comprehension of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, helping to frame the essay's narrative and giving it a complete structure.
coherence cohesion
Logical reasoning is present throughout, as the essay maintains a consistent stance and provides relevant reasons to support the main argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dress code
  • employers
  • employees
  • work quality
  • productivity
  • professionalism
  • branding
  • client interactions
  • creative expression
  • workplace environment
  • morale
  • flexibility
  • professional image
  • attire
  • perceptions
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