IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on earth. do you agree or this agree

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #earth #agree
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some individuals argue that the money should be used to improve the quality of living of residents on Earth
instead
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 of spending too much on exploring the universe. From the point of my view, I totally agree with
this
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 statement and will tell why in the below essay. In the first place,
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
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 for living among residents is still the most important problem not only in the past but
also
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 now and in the future.
This
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 is true because when the demand for a living can not improve, it would affect seriously the citizen's life.
As a result
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, that caused the famine in some
countries
Use synonyms
 around the world . Especially, in African
countries
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, they still have some famine and the government can not solve that problem because of the lack of finance and conditions.
In addition
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, the spend more money on space research is one of the reasons cause a lot of emigration. When people can not improve their life in their country, they have to find somewhere that has a good cost of living and remove to.
Consequently
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, too many individuals emigrate to developing
countries
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 making the economy of their country significantly go down.
For instance
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, nowadays, people prefer to move to developing
countries
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 like Taiwan, Japan, Korea, China and so on to find a good job and living. In conclusion, the writer agrees that money should be spent on an individual's life more than
space
Change preposition
on space
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 research. If not, that would affect seriously not only residents but
also
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 their country.
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task response
Ensure that you address all aspects of the prompt and provide a clear opinion on the topic. Consider providing more comprehensive ideas and examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on improving the organization and flow of your essay. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides sufficient supporting details. Consider using transition words and phrases to enhance the coherence between ideas.
lexical resource
Work on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise and varied language. Consider using synonyms and idiomatic expressions to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your grammar and sentence structure. Work on sentence complexity and accuracy. Avoid repetitive sentence patterns and errors.
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