Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

#people #health #sports #faculties #effect #measures

It is argued that providing more

sports

centres or

health

clubs would be the most effective method for improving public

health

. From my point of view,

however

, proper

health

education would be a better measure. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand,

people

’s

health

has been greatly enhanced thanks to participation in

sports

facilities. It is an undeniable fact that fitness levels are increased by taking part in physical activities

such

as doing daily exercise or playing

sports

Therefore

, the increasing popularity of gym classes or

sports

clubs gives

people

more chances to improve their

health

. After a hard day at work, many residents in my neighbourhood attend evening yoga classes in order to keep fit and stay healthy.

On the other hand

, I would argue that increasing the provision of

sports

amenities would have little impact on public

health

This

can be explained by the fact that many

people

who paid for an annual gym membership failed to go entirely after just one month.

Therefore

, I think that it is more important to educate citizens about basic

health

awareness. A person would easily avoid some potential

health

problems if he is equipped with sufficient basic knowledge about medicine and

health

care.

For example

, when a child knows more about the adverse effects of smoking, he might be less likely to take up

this

bad habit in

his

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

adulthood. Public campaigns and

health

protection programmes,

thus

, should be promoted so that

people

know how to protect their

health

effectively. In conclusion, the growing prevalence of

sports

facilities has brought a wide range of

health

benefits for

people

; yet, I personally believe that raising public awareness through

health

campaigns would have a more positive impact on improving

people

’s

health

Submitted by phamngoclannhu.97 on Wed Nov 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical sequence throughout the essay. While the essay has a sound structure, there are opportunities to show more sophisticated logical connections between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction and conclusion to frame the essay, which you have done well. Ensure they are clearly related to the prompt and each other.

coherence cohesion

Develop each paragraph with a single clear main idea, supported by specific details or examples. Continue to expand on the examples you provide, to add depth to the argument.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task with a complete and relevant response. Ensure to discuss both sides of the argument comprehensively and present a clear opinion.

task achievement

Present clear and comprehensive ideas to support your argument. Occasionally more elaboration on points would aid in clarity.

task achievement

Use relevant and specific examples to strengthen your response. Try to incorporate examples that are directly linked to the prompt, providing insight into the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

promote
physical activity
improve
public health
opportunities
regular exercise
chronic diseases
obesity
diabetes
heart disease
community involvement
social interactions
education
healthy lifestyles
policies
healthy eating habits
access
limited
location
affordability
cultural barriers
holistic approach
strategies
interventions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
You recently went shopping at the local supermarket. When you got jome and noticed your bill, you found that you had Bern charged for for items you did not buy. Write a letter to the supermarket manager explaining what has happened. In your letter, tell the manager: -Describe the stuation -How you fell about the error -What you would like him/her to do about it
I am one of your customers and I went to your supermarket for shopping. After shopping, I come to my home and when I saw my bill, I found that I had paid for the things I did not purchase. If I am not mistaken, your computer had been added my bill extra items. Especially, I feel anxious after I had seen this fault because I am accumulating money for purchasing a new car. If it is not secret, you should tell me about when you had your computer served. Besides that, If you did not find the computer repairer, I am good at computers. When you have your spare time, you can contact with me by this phone number:+998997654321. If so, I will fix your computer free only for you If you can give back my money. Indeed, I may go to your supermarket tomoorrow. At there, I may take my money.
7.5
band
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their lives. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?
The average childbearing age has been growing because of the combination of the popularisation of higher education and constantly increasing living costs. Although this phenomenon has reduced population pressure among developing countries, it has actually posed serious threats to the labour market.
7
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that products high in sugar should be sold at a higher price to discourage people from consuming excessive sugar due to many medical issues caused by high levels of sugar in food and beverage goods. I strongly agree with this idea because, through this policy, many people will be more thoughtful with their buying and companies will start selling healthier products.
5.5
band
Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
In the context of a wealthy country, opinions are divided on whether additional money brings joy to its citizens. Although extra wealth does provide some satisfaction, I believe that other areas have more significant impacts on people’s happiness.
8.5
band
Write a letter to the local council. The system used for rubbish/garbage collection in your local area is not working properly. This is causing problems for you and your neighbours. In your letter • describe how the rubbish collection system is not working properly • explain how this is affecting you and your neighbours • suggest what should be done about the problem
The purpose of my correspondence today is to formally convey my dissatisfaction and inconvenience with the trash collection services. Allow me to elaborate on this.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their lives. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree.