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Writing Samples /
Band 4

As well as making the money, bussiness also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #bussiness #responsibilities
In the modern world,
employer
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employers
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 are
fucus
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focus
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 on how to
making
Wrong verb form
make
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 an income.
While
someone
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some
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 think that they should focus on communities and responsibilities too. I surely agree with
this
 statement.
This
 essay will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
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about
Remove the preposition
apply
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why both
of
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apply
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making money and thinking
on
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about
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 sociality are very important for doing business ,and I will give reasons
of
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for
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this
 statement.
To begin
 with,
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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task response
Your introduction should clearly state your opinion on the topic and provide a preview of the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure with well-developed paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay more attention to your sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibility
  • financial success
  • contribute positively
  • address social issues
  • corporate social responsibility
  • environmental sustainability
  • philanthropy
  • ethical practices
  • reputation
  • trust
  • balancing
  • financial goals
What to do next:
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