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Band 5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on inproving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #earth
Many people believe that the research on space every year should be spent millions of dollars, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others
inviduals
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the
money
use
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used
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for
Change preposition
to
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 improve living standards is more useful than
this
. In my opinion, I believe that use
money
 for both because when we invest
for
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in
show examples
 each thing, we will
be received
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receive
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 various benefits. There are too many problems that need to be resolved. One of the
most
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biggest
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 problems is global warming. So why
some
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do some
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 opinions suppose the
money
 should be spent on improving the quality of life
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 Global warming or transport facilities are one of the obvious increases in the poverty rate in the world.
For example
, each year many countries are destroyed by
flood
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floods
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,
Correct word choice
or hurricane
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hurricane
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hurricanes
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.
Therefore
money
 needs to be offset for them and rehabilitate back original.
On the other hand
, the world's population increasingly rising now on the planet.
Therefore
 scientists started highlighting the need to find new land, which is
place
Add an article
the place
a place
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 for humans to live on the planet.
Moreover
, global warming has caused living
getting
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to get
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worsed
Correct your spelling
worse
 every year. The earth's ozone layer is
also
 in a state of being punctured, the sun will turn the earth into a meteorite one day. The government and scientists invest a lot of
money
 in space exploration to find a habitable planet similar to Earth and they will give people a new better life. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statement that the government should
be spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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money
 to discover universes. The government sees that situation, they can predict
that
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apply
show examples
the future and they worry about the lives of their people so they use a lot of
money
 to invest in space.
Submitted by zky1705202 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the given prompt and presents a clear argument. Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a more logical and coherent structure for your essay. Use paragraphs to separate your ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively. Avoid repetitive language and consider using synonyms and antonyms.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structures and grammar. Review the use of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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