Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

In these
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These
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days, there are some
changed
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changes
show examples
how
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in how
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individuals interact with each other
as a result
of
technology
. In my
poin
Correct your spelling
point
of view,
this
is because with
technology
surrounding
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surrounding us
show examples
, we do not have to talk face-to-face if we want to talk which sometimes
bring
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brings
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up
to
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apply
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miscommunication. The main reason is that we
could not
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cannot
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prevent ourselves
with
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from
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the growth of
technology
that has affected how we build
connection
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connections
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with others.
For
this
reason
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reason,
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we already feel safe just
live
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to live
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in
online
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the online
an online
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world that turns out hard to create
relation
Replace the word
relationships
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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real life. One example of
this
would be when
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the corona
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corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
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spread all over the world and every
countries
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country
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went down, especially students that should study
in
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at
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their
home
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homes
show examples
. I,
however
, have to spend about two years
so that
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apply
show examples
only chatting
my
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with my
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friends through applications.
Although
me
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I
show examples
and my friends most likely spend our time online, when
those virus
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that virus
those viruses
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already gone
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is already gone
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and we can attend school again, we can not interact like normal
people
. We
both
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are both
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shy and act like never have conversation before. Some of my friends
also
experience the same, they say we can not know the real personality of
person
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the person
a person
show examples
in
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on
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the internet, so after
met
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meeting
show examples
them and
found
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finding
show examples
out they are a bad influence, they will cut them off. Despite
this
affected
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affecting
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how we communicate with other
people
and some of them leave negative development, I firmly believe
with
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that
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technology
could help us to get in touch with our relatives that live or study abroad.
This
is because of the networking that has been spread all over the countries which
make
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makes
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people
easily
to
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apply
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send messages without worrying
to wait
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about waiting
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.
For instance
, when my dad
study
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studied
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abroad
at
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in
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Italy,
Europe
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and Europe
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, he
never
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was never
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absent to give
update
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updates
show examples
his
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on his
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life every single day, so that my mom did not have
worry
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to worry
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, when
technology
not
Add a missing verb
was not
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advanced in the past, my mom and dad
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
their letter
with
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to
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each other and
should
Verb problem
had to
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wait approximately a week before a letter
return
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returned
show examples
. In conclusion,
beside
Replace the word
besides
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the upgrade of
technology
will affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
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the way
people
interact, it would
bring
Verb problem
have
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positive
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a positive
show examples
impact too. As
a
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apply
show examples
long as we use those
right
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rights
show examples
without
break
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breaking
show examples
the
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
,
technology
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be the perfect way to communicate with our relatives.
Submitted by heyyo on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed in the essay. In this case, you did not discuss the positive or negative development of technology's impact on relationships.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied words/phrases to express your ideas. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and usage errors.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence construction.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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