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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. in others, chidren focus on a narow range ofsubjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today's world?

#countries #schools #aim #education #range #subjects #chidren #focus #narow #ofsubjects #career #world
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People
 seem to have contradictory views concerning whether nations should focus on providing a wide range of subject
education
 or only provide a specific subject
education
 related to their career. I believe that the former point of view is more convincing and applicable in most contexts. Some
people
 advocate that the authorities should concentrate on general
education
 covering a large range of knowledge, to maintain knowledge diversity to avoid the generally low quality of the population and expose children to different cultures.
furthermore
, they believe children should learn about different occupations so they can know their
favorite
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 subjects. In
such
 an educational environment, children can fully appreciate the diversity of richness of knowledge, and adopt the perspective of other parties encountering
problems
. Allowing them to think about
problems
 from multiple perspectives can improve their problem-solving skills and creativity. Multi-dimensional thinking can
also
 enhance their critical thinking ability, and they will no longer adopt a simplistic or biased view of
problems
.
On the other hand
, some countries more allocate to professional career
education
, they are convinced that multiple subjects of
education
 are squandering resources. They argue that resources should be devoted to promoting economic development. Economic development can have a positive impact on various aspects of society. It can create more employment opportunities and enhance the production and availability of goods. It can
also
 boost
people
's income and stimulate the demand for goods. Under
such
 a virtuous cycle, there will be more job opportunities,
therefore
,
people
's living standards will be improved, and the incidence of social
problems
 will be reduced. In general, from my point of view, both alternatives have some benefits, but in the majority of scenarios, the former is a more desirable option for individuals. I think multiple-subjects
education
 is not only a necessary program for every child but
also
 a future investment for
the
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those
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 who
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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lexical resource
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grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar to improve clarity and precision.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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