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Band 7

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
Some university
students
 like to learn about other
topics
additionally
 except paying attention to their major
topics
.
While
 other
students
 think that it is better to just devote all their
time
 to studying for a qualification. The first idea about learning other
topics
 helps
students
 to have good information about the whole range of knowledge in different fields. Regarding
this
, those groups of
students
 who have good a vision about their surroundings can be more prepared for the future. Because they are trying to complete their notions.
For example
, a student of mechanical engineering should learn about managing the factory or controlling the production lines as well. So,
this
 can be done by exploring more about
this
 topic and asking some related experts.
However
,
this
 plan is usually hard to do and it is not advisable for all
students
. Learning other subjects needs to have enough energy to spend and
students
 should have an organized plan to not be confused
along with
this
 route.
Moreover
, it
also
 depends on
students
’ characteristics.
On the other hand
, other groups claim that it is crucial to spend all their
time
 on their studying and concentrate on a qualification.
According to
this
, being an expert and specialist in their field of study need to spend more
time
 on
this
 topic.
This
 idea leads to having accurate and trustful knowledge that makes them valuable experts in their profession and every person wants to have these experts by offering a high salary for them. Because these people make value for their company and bring a lot of benefits for them. All in all, to my mind, both ideas are correct and they rely on various situations but I think being an expert in their career is more important than learning other subjects.
To sum up
, there are two opinions about studying at university, some of them believe that it is better to spend their
time
 on other
topics
additionally
,
whereas
 others think giving all their
time
 to studying and paying attention to a qualification is more essential.
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

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task response
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will help to make your argument more convincing and relatable.
coherence and cohesion
Work on developing a more structured introduction and conclusion. Clearly state your thesis in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transitional phrases and conjunctions to improve the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'On the other hand,' can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task response
Your essay covers both perspectives on the topic, which shows a balanced approach to the question.
task response
You've provided a clear take on both views and included your own opinion, which is necessary for a complete response.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph is focused on a specific idea, which helps to maintain overall coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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