Hostel management has decided to upgrade the security in and around the campus. The management has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents would like to have a new security measure. You are residing in a college hostel: Option A: New HD Night vision Cameras covering the area around the hostel. Option B: Installing biometric locks on the doors.

#hostel #management #security #campus #survey #residents #measure #college #option #hd #night #vision #cameras #area #b #biometric #locks #doors

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It has been brought to my attention that the hostel management decided to upgrade the security around the campus.

While

Linking Words

Others argue that Installing biometric locks is a good option , I personally believe that New HD night vision

cameras

Use synonyms

would be a great idea. I will justify my choices in the following paragraphs. One important reason to install night vision

cameras

Use synonyms

is , it identifies the thieves robbing the student vehicles.

Furthermore

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, it recognizes the kidnapers around the hostel.

For instance

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, recently one of my friend's sister was abducted at the hostel , unfortunately, there were no security

cameras

Use synonyms

installed , which made it extremely difficult to catch kidnappers.

Additionally

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, another compelling reason is, that it tracks and persists the video recordings past 6 months. At any given point in time , we can see the previous recordings if any unexpected event occurs. Nowadays most of the crimes have been chased with the help of

cameras

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To sum up

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, As per the information provided in the above paragraph , I strongly believe that installing a Night vision camera would be a great idea as it identifies thieves and provides better security.

Submitted by ssssss9999 on Wed Nov 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion could be more clearly presented. Make sure to clearly state your opinion and provide a summary of your main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

While you have provided specific examples to support your points, try to include more details and elaborate on the examples to make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary by using more advanced and diverse words and phrases. This will help improve the overall quality of your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to the accuracy of your grammar and sentence structures. There are some errors and awkward expressions that can be improved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

194 words

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Fully explain your ideas

University students are increasingly studying aboard as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying aboard outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that Professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish discuss both these weeds and give your own opinion

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree

‘Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough’ To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.