Hostel management has decided to upgrade the security in and around the campus. The management has sent out an opinion survey to see what residents would like to have a new security measure. You are residing in a college hostel: Option A: New HD Night vision Cameras covering the area around the hostel. Option B: Installing biometric locks on the doors.

#hostel #management #security #campus #survey #residents #measure #college #option #hd #night #vision #cameras #area #b #biometric #locks #doors

It has been brought to my attention that the hostel management decided to upgrade the security around the campus.

While

Others argue that Installing biometric locks is a good option , I personally believe that New HD night vision

cameras

would be a great idea. I will justify my choices in the following paragraphs. One important reason to install night vision

cameras

is , it identifies the thieves robbing the student vehicles.

Furthermore

, it recognizes the kidnapers around the hostel.

For instance

, recently one of my friend's sister was abducted at the hostel , unfortunately, there were no security

cameras

installed , which made it extremely difficult to catch kidnappers.

Additionally

, another compelling reason is, that it tracks and persists the video recordings past 6 months. At any given point in time , we can see the previous recordings if any unexpected event occurs. Nowadays most of the crimes have been chased with the help of

cameras

To sum up

, As per the information provided in the above paragraph , I strongly believe that installing a Night vision camera would be a great idea as it identifies thieves and provides better security.

Submitted by ssssss9999 on Wed Nov 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion could be more clearly presented. Make sure to clearly state your opinion and provide a summary of your main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

While you have provided specific examples to support your points, try to include more details and elaborate on the examples to make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary by using more advanced and diverse words and phrases. This will help improve the overall quality of your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to the accuracy of your grammar and sentence structures. There are some errors and awkward expressions that can be improved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

194 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Download Free PDF
11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Children are told that if they try hard enough then they can success in some cultures. I think it depends on the thing they work on also the situation they are in, so it is good to try hard but think throughly is far more important before we work so hard on something.
6
band
Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Shopping online offers several advantages, but whether they outweigh the disadvantages depends on individual preferences. One advantage is the convenience of shopping from anywhere at any time, without the need to travel to physical stores. This can save time and effort, especially for those with busy schedules. Online retailers often offer a wider variety of products compared to brick-and-mortar stores, allowing customers to find specific items more easily. Additionally, online shopping enables price comparison across different retailers, helping consumers find the best deals and potentially saving money.
7
band
More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. (What are the reasons for this?, What can be done to solve this problem?) Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Well, there are many reasons why animals become extinct or enter this extensive list, here we will talk about some of them.
6.5
band
In some cities, there are few controls over the design and construction of new homes and office buildings, so people can build in whatever style they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
To start with, currently, I'm living in a city where the population is allowed to work on the design of their own houses, office centers, and also some public constructions because everything is going under the control of private businesses etc. I am against of system like this, because it leads to the bad appearance of the city, and makes everything disgusting to look at.
<4
band
Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are increasingly taking place online nowadays. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Due to the rapid growth of technology, the world has come a long way . In the midst of change, internet become an integral part of the society . We can't even imagine a day without the internet. Over the past few years platforms like business , shopping , education , meeting and many more have shifted to online . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion . There are plethora of pros as well as some cons . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the rationale for both perspectives as well as proffer examples to justify the notion .

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. (What are the reasons for this?, What can be done to solve this problem?) Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some cities, there are few controls over the design and construction of new homes and office buildings, so people can build in whatever style they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are increasingly taking place online nowadays. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?